Remains of the Day
by 2SoulFishbowl
Summary: SG-1 are captured by a group of indigenous aliens. Jackwhump! Sam/Jack. RATED M, just because I am WAY over-cautious. There's nothing too graphic SPOILERS: season 3, episode 3, "Legacy" is referenced a lot. Fic takes place ten weeks later. **Now FIN**
1. The Likes of You Again

**Remains of the Day**

**Rating: T**

**Chapter 1: The Likes of You Again**

Jack O'Neill scanned the wooded forest, his senses on high alert. Something was wrong; years of black ops training told him that. Behind him, his team mimicked his defensive posture as they silently surveyed the area surrounding them. Still, O'Neill could not detect the threat he felt. Just as he prepared to declare the area clear, several armed natives seemed to materialize from the shadows of the tree line.

Though primitive in dress, the natives had superior weapons. Jack noted the ratio of Bad Guys : SG-1 was about 4:1. Jack sighed. The leader of their ambushers spoke first.

"You dare intrude on our land?" His voice was gruff, and O'Neill recognized the expression in the man's black eyes. He was not messing around.

Daniel responded, "We're peaceful-"

"Silence!" The man cut him off. "Who is the leader among you?"

"That would be me." Jack said, taking a slight step forward.

"Why do you come here?" The man asked him.

"Like he said," Jack started, nudging his P-90 in Daniel's direction, "We're peaceful explorers. We don't mean you folks any harm." The Colonel attempted to brandish his most diplomatic smile.

The gruff man holding him at gunpoint did not seem impressed. "You claim you are peaceful, yet you carry weapons. You lie."

"The weapons are to defend ourselves." Jack said, his irritation showing through in his tone. "Not that there's any need for that..." He added under his breath. The sarcastic remark was not quiet enough to go unheard. Their interrogator narrowed his eyes and shot Jack point blank in the chest with his energy weapon. The sensation of the blast was the most painful thing Jack had ever felt. It was several times worse than a Zat blast; however, Jack was unable to verbalize his pain. Despite every instinct telling him to tense up, he simply collapsed limply to the ground.

"Sir!" Carter cried out. Jack could hear the concern in her voice, and he hated hearing her worry for him.

Before SG-1 could react, the alien ordered them to lower their weapons to the ground. "If you do not, he will die." The last thing Jack heard before giving into the blissful darkness pressing in on him was his friends' weapons hitting the firm forest floor.

**SG1SG1SG1**

"Ugh…" Jack rolled gingerly to his side.

"Sir?" Carter was over him in an instant, clearly concerned.

"Carter?" He asked, his eyes hazy. "What happened?"

"We were ambushed, Sir." Carter said with a sigh.

"Well, ok, I knew _that_. By who were we ambushed?"

Carter just shook her head. "I don't know, Sir. No one's been here since they threw us in."

"Which was… when… exactly?" He brought a hand up to his head. He had a headache to beat all headaches.

"You have been unconscious for several hours, O'Neill." Teal'c's voice cut through the relative darkness of the cell.

Jack looked at Carter for confirmation. When she nodded, all he could think was _damn alien space gun. _"That ray gun of theirs had quite a kick." Jack said as he attempted to push himself into a sitting position.

Against her better judgment, Carter helped her CO get up. She knew that telling him not to move would only result in a sarcastic remark and decided to skip the middle man this time. His eyes seemed slightly unfocused and something about him seemed off. She couldn't quite place it.

"Sir, are you ok?" She asked once he was eye-level with her.

"Peachy, Carter. Where's Daniel?"

"I'm here!" Daniel called from the other side of the cell. He was facing the wall, turned away from his teammates.

"Why are you there?" Jack asked. He hoped to God that Daniel had found some method of escape. When Daniel turned around, he realized that he knew better than to indulge such wishful thinking.

Daniel was merely investigating some chicken scratch handwriting carved into the wall.

"Writing on the walls?" Jack asked skeptically.

"Yeah, by-uh, by the last occupant of this cell, I think." Daniel's voice was laced with the tone of excitement that came with learning about other cultures. Even in this situation, the guy got excited about cave drawings.

"So, what… tick marks? The clichéd homemade prison wall calendar?" Jack asked.

"No, no… from what I've been able to decipher it's just a random string of events. Presumably from the poor guy's life. Looks like he had a hard one."

"So he was a few fries short?" Jack clarified.

"Uh… no… I don't think so… the language seems to be a derivation of Gaelic. It says **"**Sainmhíniú feicthe"which, roughly translated, means 'forced to see.' I'm not sure what it means…"

Jack felt his stomach sink a bit. Daniel might not have pieced it together yet, but Jack thought he was starting to get an idea of what was going on. He had seen slightly similar behavior in the Iraqi prison he'd been held in. "They broke him."

Daniel looked at him questioningly.

Sam asked, "What do you mean, Sir?"

"I've seen it before. People get tortured so badly that the only escape from the pain is to escape inward. They focus so much on their memories that they start to lose a grasp of the present. They start replaying the events of their lives, over and over again, even the painful ones. Eventually, they stop being able to find the line between their thoughts and reality." Carter and Daniel were still looking at him, still not getting the simple, gruesome truth. Jack clarified, "In short, they get tortured so badly that they go insane."

Daniel and Sam exchanged disturbed looks as understanding dawned on them. And they both seemed to share a similar thought process. They knew Jack had done some distasteful things, but torture someone to the point of insanity?

"You-you've _seen_ this?" Daniel asked, unable to keep his morbid curiosity in check. "Where? In people that you…"

Jack's expression changed from grim to slightly mortified. "No! Dammit, Daniel! I've never tortured anyone to the point of…" Jack took a deep breath. He hadn't told his team about Iraq for a reason. That was private. His own demons. They didn't need that burden.

"Look, when you work black ops, you see things. You learn things that you never wanted to even think about. But there it is. Just… trust me on this one, ok? He was tortured by these bastards and he was broken. I say we find a way out of here before we get a firsthand show of the things these bastards are capable of. How about you guys?"

Daniel, Sam, and Teal'c knew better then to push Jack right now. He'd said all he was going to say for the moment.

So Sam dutifully took her CO's lead and changed the subject. "Sir, we've checked the whole cell. Like Teal'c said, you were out for a while. We're not even going to have a chance to get out until a guard comes and opens that gate. Maybe then we can jump him?"

Jack nodded. "Ok, then. We wait for the guard."

**SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1**

It was hours before there was any movement outside of the cell. When there was, much to SG-1's disappointment, it was a small army of guards. There were at least ten of them. All strategically placed and all armed.

"Crap." Jack muttered. "Looks like Plan A fails." He whispered to Sam. Then he spoke up, addressing the guard closest to the gate. "So, you come to release us?" He flashed his most charming smile.

The guard laughed a cold, humorless laugh. "On the contrary. We come to learn your true purpose for intruding on our land."

"That's funny," Jack said, suppressing a sigh of frustration. "I distinctly remember telling you the _real reason_ we were here before I was _shot _with that electro-gun of yours. _We're explorers._ We were _exploring_."

The guard smiled again. He seemed almost pleased that Jack was not giving in. "Yes, you have already shared that lie with us… now, we will know the true reason." The guard opened the gate; however, the nine guards behind him and, more specifically, their trained weapons, prevented SG-1 from taking the opportunity to escape.

"You three," the guard indicated Carter, Daniel, and Teal'c, "Will kindly stay back. If you do not, your leader will be killed."

The three nodded their understanding. There was nothing that they could do.

"Now, what is your name?" The guard asked.

Jack sighed. If he refused to answer, he assumed the repercussions would be painful. He was unbound. He considered the possibility of fighting back. He was sure he could take this guy in hand to hand. But, the weapons the other guys had locked on his team prevented him from doing so. _What's in a name, anyway?_

"Colonel Jack O'Neill." Jack said strongly. The arrogance in his smirk didn't even waiver. "And you are-" He was cut off.

"Very good. Why are you here, Colonel?"

Jack sighed, resigned to the fact that painful repercussions were inevitable at this point. "I already told you."

"I am truly sorry that you refuse to answer. I must insist, O'Neill, that you place this on the side of your head." The guard drew an unfortunately familiar circular disk from his pocket.

"A Tok'Ra memory device?" Jack asked with eyebrows raised. "Where the hell did you get that?"

"Tok'Ra? I am unfamiliar with this race. My people discovered this device in an archeological dig. We experimented until we determined its purpose. Now, please put it to your head."

Jack shook his head. "Not a chance." _No way was he going to give these guys an all-access pass to his memories._

"I'm afraid I must insist. If you fail to comply, I will begin killing your teammates. Starting with the lovely woman."

Strong emotion flickered briefly through Jack's chocolate eyes. "Ok, ok. Just… don't hurt my team."

The guard nodded. Jack reached out for the device. He pushed it to his temple and felt the familiar sting of the prongs piercing his skin. He took a sudden, hissing breath.

He noticed, much to his horror, that these guys had the complete set. A holographic projector shown on the cell's wall. Before he could control it, the image of him and Sara on the porch of their house was on the wall. And as soon as he realized that, he was so engulfed in the memory that he became completely unaware of the cell, or the horrified looks of his teammates as the gun shot rang through the air.

_Jack ran, full speed, into the house and up the stairs. Conscious thought was void. He was moving on instinct. He slammed through his bedroom door and slowed for only a second at the sight of his son, bloody and wheezing, in the white carpet of his and Sara's bedroom floor._

"_Charlie!" O'Neill slid to his side, and gently gathered his son in his arms. "Sara, call 911!" Jack called toward the hallway. He heard the beeping of the phone dialing, and then turned his attention back to the small body in his arms. The little boy's green eyes were already dimming._

"_Charlie? Charlie, can you hear me?" _

"_D-Dad?" he coughed. "I'm s-sorry, dad. Don't be mad… p-please…"_

"_Shh, Charlie, I'm not mad, ok? Just, just take it easy. You're gonna be ok? Alright? Just stay awake." Jack felt the tears falling down his cheeks. He begged and pleaded. Sara was suddenly at his side. She held Charlie's hand._

_The ambulance arrived and the paramedics loaded Charlie on the stretcher. Jack watched, numb. He lost track of the next few moments. Next thing he knew, he was sitting in the waiting room at the hospital. The grim-faced doctor approached slowly. Jack and Sara rose slowly. "I'm sorry… we did all we…." His voice faded. Jack felt his knees buckle and he collapsed onto the hard plastic chair. He was vaguely aware that Sara had fallen to the ground, sobbing, but he did not cry. He simply started at the puke-green tiling of the hospital floor…_

The memory ended, and the cell slowly faded back into Jack's consciousness. He felt the moisture trailing down his cheeks. "You son of a BITCH!" he looked at his interrogator with nothing but hatred. "Don't you EVER do that again!" Jack's breathing was heavy. He was emotionally raw. The memory had been so vivid that he might as well have been back there.

The guard merely smiled again. "If you tell me the truth, I will not do it again."

Jack launched himself at the guard with a growl. He received a solid punch to the stomach, which forced him to his knees. The fight deflated. "I already told you the truth…" He said quietly.

"Wrong answer…

**SG1SG1SG1SG1**

After hours of reliving Charlie's death, the guards got bored for the day. Jack was physically exhausted from the emotional strain. He was sprawled on the cell floor. He had managed to maintain his dignity through the whole ordeal. He hadn't cried at all in the follow-up replays. He had a sarcastic remark for his guard after each loop ended, but he was already getting worn down. They needed to find an out soon… or else Jack would be the one writing on the walls.

**TBC…**

**Please review. Reviews make me VERY happy. **


	2. Indestructable

**Remains of the Day**

**Chapter 2: Indestructible**

**SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1**

Carter, Daniel, and Teal'c stood still for a moment. They stared at the form of their leader, afraid to move. The Colonel let out a pained moan, and Carter snapped out of her shock and rushed to his side.

She reached a hand to his arm, to let him know she was there and he wasn't alone. Jack's eyes were screwed tightly shut.

"Headache" he managed to mumble quietly.

"Shh… it's ok, Sir." She looked up toward her teammates, who had followed her leave and were now above her. "Daniel…"

She didn't have to say anything else. Daniel knelt beside her and his best friend. He quickly slipped his jacket off, rolled it up in a loose ball, and slid it under Jack's head as Sam held him up. Their leader was barely conscious.

"Jack?" Daniel looked at his friend, his blue eyes were full of concern and sadness. Jack just grunted. He seemed to be coming around slightly, though, so Daniel continued. "Jack? It's Daniel."

"I know who you are, Daniel." Jack said quietly. Despite the events of the previous hours, Jack's irritation at Daniel's coddling laced his voice.

Daniel smiled at his response. There was a little hint of sarcasm, there, too. That encouraged Daniel, and, from the looks on their faces, Sam and Teal'c, too.

"Are you ok?" Daniel asked. The question sounded horribly insensitive the minute it left his mouth.

"No." Jack answered plainly. "Not even close. For one, I feel like there's a nail in my head… that thing looks like a Tok'Ra device, but it's way more painful…" Jack faded off. He sighed. "That bastard could control what I saw… no Blood of Sonic or anything…"

"Sokar." Daniel corrected his need for cultural accuracy was almost like autopilot. He couldn't help the response.

"Sokar." Jack amended his statement. "But they wouldn't have been able to do that with the Tok'Ra device. This was different." His voice was sluggish and heavy with exhaustion.

Carter reached down and brushed some hair off his forehead. "Just rest, Sir. We'll take watch."

Jack nodded wearily without opening his eyes. He was wiped out, yes, but more that that he couldn't bare the expressions that he knew were in his team members' eyes. His last thought before giving in to sleep was "What will they make me relive tomorrow?"

**SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1**

Jack slept as peacefully as was expected, considering his emotional state. He tossed and turned a bit, mumbling occasionally.

Sam sat at the gate, keeping a close eye on him. She couldn't help the tears that fell silently down her cheeks. Watching someone she cared about suffer like this was almost too much for her, and, as much as she tried to deny it, she cared more about Jack than anyone else. Watching him suffer was horrible, but seeing the most horrific moments of his life projected on a wall while he relived them… that was torture. Not just for Jack, for her, for Daniel, and for Teal'c. These aliens had them right where they wanted them. If SG-1 had one weakness, it was each other.

Daniel's hand on her shoulder pulled her from her thoughts.

"Sam, I can relieve you if you want to get some sleep." He spoke softly. Sam looked up at him, her moist cheeks and red eyes clearly shown in the light streaming through the cell's gate.

Daniel sat down next to her and placed his arm around her shoulder like a protective older brother.

"This is so hard, Daniel… did you see the look on the Colonel's face?" The tears grew heavier, and she choked back a sob.

Daniel shifted position so he could give her a full hug. She cried freely for a few minutes on his shoulder. "Shh… I know… I know, Sam…"

He tried to comfort her, but the truth was he couldn't give much comfort. He rubbed her back softly as the sobs calmed down. H was trying desperately to hold back his own tears.

She pulled back and looked him in the eyes. "We have to get him out of here. We can't let them make him relive that again, Daniel… we can't."

Daniel sighed. "I know, Sam." He wanted to reassure her, but the utter hopelessness of the situation hit him and he decided to speak his concerns instead of empty platitudes. "I just don't see how. We can't take those guards."

Sam nodded. "I know. And we're not even due to check in with Hammond for another…" she looked at her watch, "9 hours."

Daniel nodded. "Well, we can survive for another 9 hours. We'll get out of here, Sam. _Jack_ will get out of here. I promise."

Sam looked at him skeptically, but she nodded. She wanted to believe him. For now, that would have to be enough.

**SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1**

Daniel watched as Sam managed to fall asleep. She was not even five feet away from Jack. If circumstances were different, Daniel would have laughed at that. _The day that those two stop dancing around each other and finally hook up, I'll hold a parade. _He shook his head slightly.

He heard movement and looked toward Jack. Much to his surprise, he saw the older man sitting up and attempting to stand. Daniel rushed to his side, the movement waking Sam.

"Jack, take it easy!" Daniel said firmly.

"Sir, you should lie down." Carter added.

The worry in their voices irritated Jack. "I have to go pee, Carter. I'm standing. The headache's gone for now. Excuse me." He lightly pushed Daniel away from him, stood, and headed over to the "bathroom". It was just a shallow hole in the dirt… _lovely…_

Once he finished, he turned back to his teammates. _Damn… there it is_. He saw the pity, the caution in their eyes. Like they were afraid he was fragile. He sighed.

"I'm fine, guys. I've been through way worse in my time. Don't look at me like that."

Daniel and Carter exchanged concerned looks. Teal'c walked up behind Daniel, and took a stance alongside his friends.

"Jack, what you saw…"

"…was horrible, Daniel. But I've seen it before. This is torture; it's supposed to be hard. I've handled torture before. Drop the fragile psyche act. You'll know if it's becoming a problem. Now, I'm going back to bed."

With that, Jack headed back to his "bed" and closed his eyes. Despite what he said, his attitude was _not_ typical Jack O'Neill. He was moody. And he was rapidly entering the denial stage of the "Oh my God, I might not be able to handle _everything _life throws at me" spectrum. Daniel could see the first signs of Jack's emotional shut-down phase.

**SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1**

The guards returned an hour later. They slammed the gate open, startling the three sleeping members of SG-1. Teal'c merely watched them take their fortified position at the door.

"You two will take your proper place." The guard addressed Sam and Daniel.

"Question me." Sam blurted out. "Please, question me instea-"

"-Carter! Shut up and get your ass over there with Daniel." Jack said harshly.

"Sir!" she turned back to the guard. "Will you question me?" She asked. Her eyes searched for any kindness in those of her captor's. She found none.

"I am sorry, Carter. I am under strict orders to question O'Neill, and O'Neill only. Take your place with your friend."

Carter sighed. She had no choice. She reluctantly moved toward Daniel and Teal'c.

"Now, O'Neill, why did your team really come here?"

Jack sighed again. These guys seemed to invoke that response a lot. "I don't suppose it would do any good for me to tell you that I _already answered that question_?"

The guard held out his fisted hand and opened his fingers. The disk was nestled in the center of his palm. "Place this to your head, please."

Jack looked at the guard defiantly. "You want to watch my _son_ die again, you sadistic bastard?" Jack asked through clenched teeth.

"No," the guard said with a sick smile as two of the guards outside of the cell strode toward Jack and held him down as the main guard placed the disc on his temple. "No, I think today we will visit a more physically painful time in your life."

_Jack found himself in the desert. He held is automatic weapon to his shoulder and fired a burst at the oncoming Iraqi soldiers. Enemy fire came from everywhere. Captain O'Neill looked to his friend and commanding officer Major Cromwell. He and the rest of Jack's team were some distance away from him. A retreat had been ordered. Jack stood from his location behind a sand dune, fired another burst of rounds at the enemy, and prepared to make a break for his team. Suddenly, he felt a white-hot pain in his shoulder. The desert around him swam for a moment and he fell into the sun-baked sand. He looked back at Cromwell, expecting to see him running towards him. Expecting to see his rescue coming. Instead, he saw his team members' backs as they retreated without him. Jack scrambled toward his gun. If he could get it, he could somehow fend off the inevitable. Just as he reached for it, he saw a sand-colored boot crash down on his outstretched hand. The desert slowly faded into black. _

_When Jack came to, he was chained to the ceiling of a dug-out cell. An Iraqi guard with black eyes and a white robe, approached him slowly. The smile on the guards' face made Jack sick to his stomach. _

"_You were shot, Captain." The guard said in a thick accent. "You are losing blood. I have to fix this." He reached behind him and pulled out a glowing fire prod. Before Jack could really even react, the guard thrust the scalding metal clear through his shoulder._

Jack screamed out in agony. He could feel the memory as if it was really happening, right then. SG-1's eyes were torn from the projection to the form of their leader, writhing in pain on the floor of the cell.

"Stop it!" Carter called.

"_Stop it!" Jack could have sworn he heard a female voice. It was somehow familiar, somehow beautiful. He looked up, bleary-eyed at his captor. "Thanks for the patch up" he forced out. _

_The guard smiled. "Now, I can get o with questioning you. Who do you work for?"_

_O'Neill knew this drill. He was Black Ops. He had to play by the Geneva Convention rules. "O'Neill, Jack. Captain. 4713-0307."_

"_That is not an answer." The guard said. Jack could hear the undertones of joy in his voice. _

"_It's the only answer I'm required to give you. Geneva Convention." Jack spat back._

_The guard just smiled. Jack noticed the jumper cables then. Another guard entered the room, he was carrying a bucket of water. The guard ripped Jack's torn shirt off his chest. Next, they drenched him with the freezing cold water in the bucket. Despite the knowledge of what was to come, Jack opened his mouth, desperately trying to get a few drops into his dry mouth. _

_The momentary relief brought by the cool water soon did not matter. The first contact of the metal to his moist skin caused him to shake violently and cry out again. The electricity coursed through his body. It felt like they held contact for hours, though Jack knew it couldn't have been that long. Could it?_

_As the torture continued, Jack lost track of the space between the hits. His body was numb, but in agony at the same time. He had never felt anything quite like this sensation. All he could think about was how badly he wanted it to end. _

_Finally, after what felt like hours, the shocks stopped. Jack raised his barely conscious head to look at his captors._

"_Who do you work for?" The man asked._

"_O'Neill, Jack. Captain. 4713-0307." O'Neill repeated numbly._

_The shocking continued._

Even Jack's captors were shocked when one last, excruciating scream ended with his loss of consciousness.

Sam lost what little restraint she had. "Stop this! You're going to kill him!" She rushed to his side, suddenly not caring if she was shot.

One guard made a move to fire, but the leader stopped him. "He's had enough for now. We should be close to getting the desired information from him."

"He's telling the truth!" Daniel yelled at the guard who was putting Jack through so much agaony.

He just smiled a condescending smile. "I believe you as much as I believe your leader."

With that, the guards turned and left.

**SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1**

Sam and Daniel tried to get Jack as comfortable as possible. He barely stirred when they moved him.

Sam didn't want to believe that these guys could break her Colonel in a mere two days. She wanted to believe in the childish notion that he was Superman. That nothing could touch him. But she could not stop her analytical mind from recalling information from college psychology and sociology courses. No one could hold out for too long when they were being forced to relive the most painful moments of their lives in real time.

Once Jack was settled, she looked at her watch. Only 6 more hours until the SGC would realize that they were in trouble.

**TBC--**

**Reviews are still good! **


	3. I Feel Like I'm Fixing to Die

**Remains of the Day**

**Chapter 3: I Feel Like I'm Fixing To Die**

Jack groaned as he slowly regained consciousness. He felt the dirt he lay on and recognized the musty, prison smell. _Dammit_. He thought. When he felt a hand on his shoulder, he began panicking. He couldn't take more from these Iraqi guys. Not yet. His shoulder still ached and he was acutely aware of every muscle in his upper body. That electroshock thing really worked him over.

"Sir?" the voice sounded distance. He furrowed his brow. It was a woman. An _American_ woman. "Colonel, can you hear me?"

_Colonel?_ Slowly the memories fell into place. He was not a Captain in an Iraqi prison. He was just being held by an alien race that could make him _believe_ he was. "Carter?" The whisper pushed its way through his lips before he had time to consciously register her identity. But he knew he was correct.

His eyes slowly opened, and he saw her smile. "Yes, Sir. You had us worried there. You've been out for hours."

Jack nodded slowly. "Guards?"

"Haven't come back yet, Sir."

"Good… that's good." Jack's voice was weak. He hated the vulnerability and helplessness he felt. His team was getting an all-access pass to his darkest moments. He felt somehow… violated. Those were, after all, his memories. And he had the right to keep them buried. _Had the right._ His mind emphasized the "had". That wasn't his right anymore. These bastards had taken it from him. And he had let them.

"Jack?" This time Daniel spoke. "Do you want to sit up?"

Jack just shook his head. "Muscles… too sore…"

Carter looked at Daniel. She knew from experience that the Tok'Ra memory device allowed the wearer to feel pain. She had felt the torture Jolinar endured very vividly. But she had been able to end it. And the effects hadn't been long lasting. It had been nearly four hours since the guards had left. The Colonel should have been well recovered from any physical effects by now.

"Sir, I'm going to look you over, ok?" She reached down to lift his shirt.

He let his eyes drift shut, but spoke as he felt her warm hands on his stomach. "Say what you want, Carter… but I know you just want a look…at my unbelievable abs."

Sam couldn't help but smile. The sarcasm meant he was still her Colonel. They hadn't broken him. She lifted the shirt and was shocked to see the angry red blotches. It was as if the Colonel had actually been hit with jumper cables.

Daniel's expression was just as shocked. "Ok, Jack, just… just lie still, ok?" Daniel was trying to determine just how bad the physical injuries were.

"What's wrong?" Jack asked, his eyes opening again. He craned to see what they were staring at.

"Jack, just lie back!" Daniel snapped. He was feeling the effects of stress and exhaustion already.

Jack seemed taken aback by his tone, but only for a second. Then he changed tactics. "Carter?"

When she was silent, he knew he had to deploy the big guns. "Major Carter, I order you to tell me what the hell's going on."

Sam sighed. "Sir, I don't know. It looks like the memory caused some physical damage. Your whole abdomen is inflamed. It's like they really shocked you."

"So, what happens in the memory really happens to my body?" Jack asked, suddenly thinking of the infection that his gunshot wound had caused when he was actually captured.

Carter shrugged. "I don't think so, Sir."

"Major? You just said my abdomen is a giant electrical burn." The strength it took just to force out the sentence was pathetic. Jack certainly _felt_ like he had just spent a few hours in Iraq.

Sam nodded. "Yes, Sir. But your shoulder isn't bleeding. There's no gunshot wound. No burns."

Jack glanced at her for a minute, momentarily forgetting that she had seen everything projected on the wall.

He sighed. "I'm sorry…"

"Sir?" Sam asked, confused. Daniel's expression mirrored hers.

"That you had to see that. You shouldn't… ever…" Unconsciousness was pulling at him again.

Same leaned down, getting close to his ear to be sure he heard it. "Sir, none of this is your fault. You have nothing to apologize for."

Jack just mumbled something incoherent as he gave in to exhaustion.

**SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1**

The guards returned about a half hour later. They seemed less interested in playing games now. Jack was still unconscious, so the leader walked up to him and gave him a hard kick in the ribs. He came to with a harsh coughing fit.

"I am done accepting your resistance, O'Neill. You will tell me where you are from, and you will give me a layout of your people and the weapons they possess. We will raid your home world and learn your true intentions that way.

O'Neill spoke, quietly, but firmly. "You have… a damn piece of technology… that lets you see my memories… why not use it to confirm what I've been telling you… we came to explore…god…" he winced as he clutched his arms around his chest. The pain was building.

The guard scoffed. "There is no fun in that… I want to _break_ you, O'Neill. You are a difficult man. Breaking you would give me great… satisfaction." The guard paused.

_Bad guys are always so overdramatic._ Jack thought.

"To that end," the guard continued, "We will no longer partake in these little sessions. Rather, I will attach this device to you and increase its intensity. I will be removing you from the caring arms of your friends. You will be one cell over. They will be able to see and hear you, and your memories. But they will be unable to help you."

Carter spoke, trying to disguise the panic in her voice. "Wait!" she failed. "The memory last time… it caused physical harm. His chest…"

The guard understood what she was saying. "Do not fear. It is not permanently harmed. Merely… irritated. The guard reached down and lifted Jack's shirt once more. The red was nearly gone. "It will not kill him."

Sam had to try something else. "Please, leave him in the cell with us."

"I cannot do that. He needs t be fully immersed in his memories if I am to truly break him." The guard gave her an evil smile. Two guards grabbed Jack and dragged him to the cell across the hall. Before throwing him in, the lead guard slapped the disk to his temple, and used his wrist band to adjust the intensity.

Jack fell to the cell floor and immediately started writhing in pain.

He cried out for hours and hours, until he lost his voice. After that, he just made whimpering noises. The wall flashed scenes of torture at the hands of the Iraqis. Carter saw things that she never wanted to.

There was a lot more electric shock, there was acid, there was solitary confinement for weeks at a time. Carter was shocked when the guard on the wall approached Jack with a syringe.

"_This help you. Make to feel good." The guard said in broken English. Jack tried to move away, but he was in too much pain. _

_The guard stuck the needle in Jack's arm. He felt a warm, calming rush. It was almost instantaneous. _

"_Whastha?" he slurred. His tongue felt heavy. The guard had drugged him… but with what?_

"_Make feel good."_

_Jack rolled his eyes. Oh, hell! He did feel better… what was in that needle?_

_The Iraqi returned several times in the next few days, giving him this 'feel good' cocktail. Jack started to welcome it. It took the pain away and offered him a few hours of escape. One day, the guard did not show up. Only then did Jack understand this cruel endgame. His muscles began to spasm and cramp. He spent what felt like years balled up in a corner of the cell, sobbing. He was in so much pain. Every time a guard passed, he begged and pleaded for more, but no one came. Just as he was over the worst of the withdrawal, the guard returned. The cycle repeated._

Carter looked at her watch. The SGC should become aware of their predicament any minute now. She hoped to God it would be soon. She could barely stand to see the Colonel like this. He was balled on the floor now, sobbing. Her heart was breaking for him.

**SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1**

"Sergeant? Has SG-1 reported in yet?" Hammond asked as he entered the control room.

"No, Sir." Sergeant Harriman answered. "Would you like me to dial it up?"

Hammond looked at his watch. They were only 15 minutes overdue, but he knew SG-1's track record.

"Yes, Sergeant."

Walter nodded. The gate spun and the event horizon formed.

Hammond spoke into the microphone. "SG-1, this is General Hammond, do you copy?"

When no one answered, Hammond's heart sank. He couldn't explain how, but he knew that they'd gotten themselves into trouble again. With a sigh, he turned to Walter. "Better send though a MALP."

The Sergeant nodded.

**SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1**

Daniel looked at his watch again. _What was taking Hammond? They were nearly 2 hours overdue now._

Jack let out a particularly anguished moan, and Daniel rushed to the cell's gate.

"Jack!"

The older man did not respond; he didn't even acknowledge Daniel's presence.

"Jack, you're gonna be ok. We'll get you out of here, just hold on, alright?"

Daniel couldn't help but feel like his reassurance fell on deaf ears.

"I don't think he can hear you." Sam said quietly. She was sitting in the corner where the gate met the wall.

Daniel looked at her questioningly.

"Look at his eyes." She said. She sounded like she was holding back tears.

Daniel did as she said. Jack's eyes were staring forward, moving to trace things that weren't there. He looked much like Daniel imagined himself to look when he was implanted with Machello's inventions. To put it bluntly, Jack looked crazy.

Daniel shook the thought out of his head. Jack wasn't crazy; he was just seeing things firsthand. Things that anyone else could only see being flashed on the wall. Daniel did, however, have to agree with Sam's assessment. Jack was too tangled in the memories to have any concept of the real world.

**SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1**

"Report, Sergeant."

Walter sighed. The General wasn't going to like the news he had. "Sir… there's nothing."

"Nothing?" Hammond asked, frustration obvious in his voice.

"No, Sir. No life forms. There's no sign of SG-1 anywhere in a 2 mile radius of the gate. I've had a UAV prepped, Sir. With your permission?"

Hammond nodded. "Do it."

_We don't leave out people behind._ Hammond could almost hear Jack O'Neill's voice.

**TBC.**


	4. Everyone Knows You Cried Last Night

**Remains of the Day**

**Chapter 4: Everyone Knows You Cried Last Night**

The UAV zoomed over the tree line of the planet. After about 30 minutes of flying, its censors detected a village. As soon as Walter received the information, he reported to General Hammond.

SG-2, headed by Ferretti, stood geared up in the gate room moments later.

"SG-2, you have a go. Find our people." Hammond spoke over the loud speaker.

Ferretti nodded curtly. "Yes, Sir. SG-2. Move out."

The team moved expertly through the event horizon.

When they emerged on the other side, they saw nothing but a tree line.

"Ok, let's go. The village is about 8 clicks that way." He pointed in a general direction. "Let's find SG-1."

_Jack owes me for this one. This was supposed to be my day off._ Ferretti thought with a smile. _Maybe I'll make him pay up in pizza and beer._

**SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1**

SG-1 was now 5 hours overdue. The guards had returned and increased the intensity of the device again. Sam, Daniel, and Teal'c could no longer decipher the images flashing on the wall. It was like a strobe-light. Occasionally, they would recognize the sound of a gunshot or an Iraqi guard, but, by and large, the memories were simply passing to quickly for them to understand.

Carter had a sickening suspicion that it was not so for Jack. Just like a person can dream a lifetime in a moment, she was sure that Jack was reliving all of these memories in real time, despite the relatively slow passage of time in the outside world.

Sam had no way to predict how many horrible things Jack had been forced to endure. Had he been there for days? Weeks? Months? Surely not years!

"Sam, what are you thinking about?"

She just sighed. "I was just wondering how many agonizing days he's had to go through so far."

Daniel closed his eyes for a minute.

"Sam, Hammond'll find us. Jack is strong. He'll hold out. I mean, c'mon… he's too stubborn to let a little thing like this get him down." Daniel tried to harness Jack's sarcastic tone. The team

was definitely missing something without it. Unfortunately, he failed. He was far too busy being worried about his best friend to make a smart-ass comment. Sam smiled anyway. She appreciated the effort.

Across the hall, Jack's eyes had stopped following invisible specters from his past. He simply starred. His eyes were blank, unseeing, almost dead.

**SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1**

SG-2 approached the village. They had been walking for two hours now. Much to their surprise, the locals did not look threatening. In fact, a bearded man in humble farmer's attire walked right up to them, a smile on his face.

"Welcome, travelers! I am Kelen. What do you call yourselves?"

Ferretti's guard was still up slightly. "My name's Ferretti. Major Louis Ferretti. This is my team."

"I'm Captain Katharine Cooley." The petite brunette next to Ferretti spoke. Though she was short and not physically imposing, her voice was confident and strong.

The other two team members introduced themselves as Lieutenant Austin and Jonathan Remick.

"Again, I welcome you!" he said. "It is not frequent for us to have visitors."

"Speaking of visitors," Ferretti started, "We're actually looking for some of our people. They came here two days ago? They would be dressed very similarly to us."

Kelen's smile wavered. "Friends of yours came through here?"

Ferretti nodded.

Kelen sighed. "Would they have approached through the wooded area?"

Again, Ferretti nodded.

"And would it have been at sundown?"

Ferretti felt his gut sank. "Yes, it would…why?"

The look on Kelen's face confirmed the bad feeling in Ferretti's stomach. Something had gone wrong with SG-1. Again.

"There are… extremists. They believe that the farmers do not receive enough payment. They wish to make a statement. They stay in the woods. Any travelers from any villages caught in the woods after dark are frequently captured. Demands for ransom are sometimes made, but, more frequently, they merely disappear. Other times, missing people show up, weeks later. But they are… not themselves."

"What do you mean?" Ferretti asked.

"They are… unstable. Confused about year and location. They hear words when no one has spoken. See things… horrific things… when there is nothing."

Ferretti nodded. He understood. They went crazy.

"Do you know where these extremists are based?" Ferretti's face was now determined; however, Kelen's face fell.

"You cannot seriously consider going after them. You will be killed."

Ferretti's determined expression did not waiver. "Maybe, but we don't leave our people behind."

**SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1**

The guards returned. Jack had been on the floor, non-responsive for four or five hours by this time. They opened the gate to his cell. The lead guard leaned down and removed the memory device. Jack didn't move. His vacant stare continued.

The guards lifted him and ceremoniously tossed him to the ground in his friends' cell.

"We have done all that we desire with him." The lead guard said, with extreme arrogance.

"Now, we will move on. To you." The guard looked viciously to Daniel.

"Wait! I thought that you could only question Colonel O'Neill!" Sam cried. She knew she couldn't endure watching another of her friends go through that. There was no way.

"At the time, that was true, Carter. First, O'Neill had been prepared for it."

"What do you mean, 'prepared'?" Sam asked. Her curiosity got the better of her, despite the situation.

The guard nonchalantly raised his energy weapon. The same weapon he'd shot Jack with upon their captivity. "The specific electronic field it emits prepares the brain for the memory device. It was necessary to assure complete immersion in the mind." With that, the guard lifted the gun and shot Daniel.

The archeologist promptly slumped to the ground, much as Jack had earlier.

"We will return in a few hours. Once he has regained consciousness. Then, we will explore the deepest secrets of his past."

"Why won't you use me?" Carter asked.

The guard smiled at her. "You seem to be the most pained by seeing your friends endure this. The purpose here is to cause pain. I am succeeding."

"You son of a bitch!" Sam yelled, and she lunged at him. He brought the stunner up, and Carter's world turned to darkness.

**SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1**

SG-2 approached the well-covered entrance to the underground fortress. Kelen had reluctantly explained the limited intel different people had gathered. Ferretti and his team used it to construct a composite map. So far, it had served them extremely well.

"Ok," Ferretti whispered to his teammates.

"Cooley, you and I'll take front. Austin and Remik, you guys take our six."

"Yes, Sir." Austin responded.

Together, the team moved as one. Their precision spoke to countless hours of field experience.

They approached the door and silently took out the three guards there.

They entered the complex.

The sooner they got to SG-1, the better.

**SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1**

Teal'c knelt by O'Neill. The Colonel was once again mumbling about something. The Jaffa was deeply troubled by his friend's lack of comprehension. The man seemed to have no idea where he was or who was with him. His eyebrow occasionally furrowed, but his eyes maintained their vacant stare.

Teal'c was drawn from his thoughts by gunfire down the hall. He recognized the sound immediately as P-90s.

He heard his teammates stir. Carter rose slowly with a groan. Daniel was slower to come around.

"MajorCarter, I believe our rescue has arrived."

Sam snapped herself totally awake at that news and turned to speak to Daniel. By the time she did, he seemed to be rather awake. The gun fire got closer.

"Jack?" Ferretti called down the hall once it was cleared.

"Major Ferretti!" Carter called through the gates.

SG-2 rushed to the cell. "Thank God! You really had us-"

Ferretti and Cooley stopped short when he saw Jack's still form. The open eyes looked dead.

"-oh God… is he-" Ferretti's voice shook slightly.

"-He's not dead, Haley. He's just… he's been through a lot…" Carter said quietly.

Ferretti's face was grim. "Step back." He placed a very small charge of C-4 on the gate and detonated it. Austin walked toward Teal'c and O'Neill to help the Jaffa carry the prone man. The area was clear for the time being, but who knew when more of these extremists would return.

As soon as there was physical contact with Jack, the Colonel sprang to life. His eyes were terrified. He scrambled back and screamed at the two men trying to lift him, "NO! No, DON'T! Don't touch me!!" Jack hit the wall, slumped against it and brought his knees up to his chest. He mumbled incoherent sounds into his knees.

Ferretti and the rest of SG-2 looked at him in shock. SG-1 was equally shocked by the outburst, but they, at least, had been expecting something remotely like this.

The bastards that captured them had done more permanent damage to their leader then anyone would have liked or expected.

**TBC…**


	5. Your Guardian Angel

**Remains of the Day**

**Chapter 5: Your Guardian Angel**

"Colonel?" Carter spoke softly, in her most soothing tone. She knew that they had to get him out of this prison and back to the infirmary where he could recover. She didn't even stop to consider that he may not. "Sir, I need you to get up and come with me."

Jack huddled against the wall. He was petrified. He knew that there were bad people here. Evil men who wanted to hurt him. He would fight. He would not let them break him. When the soft voice broke through, he was confused. Every survey of the people around him, his enemies, had revealed them to all be men. Who was this woman? He raised his eyes and looked at her. She was a clearly not Iraqi. She was American, by her accent. Jack moved tentatively toward her. He knew he could trust her, somehow. She seemed vaguely familiar.

Daniel saw Jack move a bit toward Sam. He let out a sigh of relief. "Good, Jack."

At Daniel's voice, Jack retreated again. He was behaving exactly like a rescued grey hound Daniel had once seen. This dog would flinch at any sudden movements. What's more, any time he heard a male's voice, he would retreat to his pillow.

Daniel took a step back, signaling to Sam that he would not interfere any more. Sam took a tentative step toward her CO. "Colonel? Sir?"

Jack looked toward her again.

"Can I help you up?" She asked. Jack considered her for several agonizing seconds. Finally he nodded. Carter moved toward him, very slowly and very gently. She finally reached him and placed her hand on his forearm. He tensed but did not pull away. After a second, he relaxed into her touch and allowed her to help him to his feet. When she tried to direct him out of the cell, though, he resisted.

"Sir, we have to go." Sam said, her voice pleading with him to listen.

His eyes were uncertain. Nervous. She followed his gaze. He was clearly concerned about the armed soldiers standing in the room.

"Guys, why don't you leave first?" Sam asked. They nodded and left the room.

"Better, Sir?" Sam asked. Jack nodded slowly.

Carter smiled at him for a second. "Good. Let's go."

He still seemed hesitant, but he followed her anyway.

The hike to the gate was relatively uneventful. Jack got spooked a few times, but Carter managed to coax him back to the group. As long as she maintained physical contact with him and continued to speak in a calm voice, he was willing to follow her. They made it to the gate relatively quickly.

As soon as they emerged onto the SGC's ramp, Jack lost his composure. He shoved Carter away from him and backed quickly against the iris. As his back slammed into the metal shield, he screamed out "ZAHABA! WAQF MAJRUH!"

"Dr. Jackson?" Hammond asked from the doorway to the 'gate room.

"Uh, it's-uh…. It's Arabic… broken… but he says 'leave, stop hurt'… oh, God, Sam. He thinks we're Iraqis."

Carter's stomach sank. She took a few steps forward. "Colonel… we're not going to hurt you. You are not in Iraq."

Jack looked at her. He was clearly confused. His eyes showed his turmoil. He wanted to trust this woman, but nothing about his situation made any sense. It was like someone had spilled four incomplete, warped jigsaw puzzles in front of him and asked him to make a complete image. He couldn't do it. He did know one thing, though. He could trust this woman. He slowly moved off the iris toward her. Carter took a preemptive move and spoke to the rest of the people in the room. "Ok, everyone just move back. Give him plenty of space."

The men and women in the gate room complied. They all had remarkable respect for the man being led down the ramp.

Hammond was shocked. Jack O'Neill was many things. He was confident, cocky, funny, intelligent, strong…but Hammond had never seen him so vulnerable. The look in Jack's eyes scared the hell out of the General and he wasn't afraid to admit it as he watched Major Carter lead the fragile, feeble looking man out the door toward the infirmary.

**SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1**

"Janet?" Sam called softly, so as not to startle the Colonel.

Janet walked briskly toward them. She had just gotten off the phone with General Hammond. As she approached the two of them, she slowed. She spoke softly and reassuringly. "Colonel O'Neill? You are safe here. My name's Janet and I'm just going to help you, ok?"

Jack nodded slowly. Recognition flashed briefly in his eyes. "Doc?" He asked, his voice raspy, quiet, and clearly unsure.

Janet and Sam smiled broadly. "Yes, Sir." Janet said. "Can you come sit on a gurney for me?"

Again, Jack nodded. He walked slowly, with a slight limp. He did as Fraiser asked, but all of his senses were clearly on high alert. Janet knew that just because he recognized her did not by any means constitute recovery.

"Sir, are you in any pain?" She asked.

Jack nodded again. He gently lifted his t-shirt. There was a nasty bruise on his ribs where the guard had kicked him. Beyond that, there was evidence of slight irritation across his chest. She raised her eyebrows at that, but decided to move on.

"Anything else, Sir?"

"Headache." Jack said quietly.

Janet looked at his temple; she could see where the device had been.

"Sam, was it a Tok'Ra memory device?"

Sam nodded, then shook her head, unsure. "I'm not exactly sure. It looked like one, but it was slightly different. You had to be shot by an energy weapon before it would work correctly…" She trailed off.

Janet nodded. "Ok, Sir, I'm going to schedule an MRI and a CAT scan. I just want to make sure that there is no permanent neurological damage. In the mean time, I have a private room for you, ok? You don't have to see anyone that you don't want to, ok?"

Jack nodded and gave the doctor a grateful look.

He opened his mouth, but when he spoke it was so low, so needy, it was almost childlike. "Can Carter stay with me?"

Janet and Sam exchanged pained expressions at his tone. Still, Janet's look also asked Sam if she would be ok with that, and Sam's clearly said yes.

"Of course, Colonel. She'll be with you the whole time."

Jack smiled weakly.

Sam would have given anything for a sarcastic remark at that moment… but none came.

**SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1**

Jack settled into the infirmary bed. Janet told him that she wanted him to rest. He was physically exhausted, as was Sam and the rest of SG-1. Janet ordered Teal'c to Kel-no-reem and Daniel to sleep. Neither would leave base, however, so they were in their small quarters. Sam was another story. Jack would not let her out of his sight. If she left the room, he became agitated. If Janet knew one thing, it was that you should always keep black ops trained lethal weapon as un-agitated as possible.

To that end, Janet had a second bed brought into Jack's room. With Hammond's permission, Janet and Sam decided that it would be best for her to simply stay with him.

Sam settled into bed, casting a look over to her sleeping CO. He was mildly sedated.

She slowly faded to sleep. The hospital bed was so much more comfortable than the cell.

**SG1SG1SG1SG1**

_Sam was dreaming. She knew she was dreaming. She was lying on Jack's chest. They were cuddling on his couch, watching a hockey game. She could feel his fingers lightly tracing her shoulder. A commercial came on, and Jack shifted. Sam lifted her head to look at him. "I need more beer." He said with a smile. "You want anything?"_

_Sam smiled back. "Do I want anything?" She asked, a mischievous spark in her eyes. "Well, I don't want beer, if that's what you're asking."_

_Jack smiled broadly at her. He leaned in and kissed her passionately, but suddenly pulled back._

"_What's wrong?"Sam asked._

"_I'm stuck…" He said. His voice was not full of fear; the statement was matter-of-fact. She gave him a confused look and he continued. "I'm stuck. Trapped. I'm still in Iraq. I'm trapped. I'm trapped. I'm trapped." He said it several more times, his voice rising each time. Something pulled at her consciousness._

"I'M TRAPPED!"

Sam jerked awake, and saw Jack tossing, turning, and screaming on his bed. He was about to fall out. She rushed over to him.

"Sir? Sir, it's ok. You're ok."

He jerked awake.

"Where am I?" He asked breathless.

"You're in the infirmary, Sir." Carter said. She kept her hand on his shoulder to keep him grounded."You're safe, Colonel."

Jack looked at her, his eyes focused slightly. "Carter?" He asked, clearly confused.

"Yes, Sir. I'm right here."

Jack let out a relieved sigh and slumped back into the bed.

"What are you doing here?" He asked.

"Janet thought it would be best for me to stay here."

Jack just nodded. " 'm tired." He mumbled as his eyelids slid shut.

"Just remember, Sir, I'm right here. You're safe."

"mm… my guardian angel…" He whispered as his eyes drifted closed.

Sam smiled sadly. "Yes, Sir." She whispered back as she lightly kissed his forehead. She headed back to her own bed, but she could not get back to sleep. Seeing Jack this fragile was killing her. She hoped that it would pass quickly.

**TBC…**


	6. Fly Trapped in a Jar

**Remains of the Day**

**Chapter 6: Fly Trapped in a Jar**

Dr. McKenzie made his way through the halls of the SGC. He received cold looks from most of the military personnel lining the concrete corridors. He found that, by and large, the men and women in the Stargate Program did not respond well to him. Or any type of therapist. He shook his head slightly at this thought. _God knows they could all probably use one with the things they deal with every day…_

He made his way to General Hammond's office.

"General." He addressed with a curt nod.

"Doctor." Hammond returned the gesture, though his Texas accent caused the statement to be slightly drawn out.

"As you know, I'm here to check up on the members of your base. Specifically SG-1 and Dr. Fraiser. It's been ten weeks since they were exposed to those creatures, the ones that caused schizophrenia, and I'm under orders to make sure that there haven't been any… relapses."

Hammond nodded. "I know why you're here, Doctor. I can assure you there haven't been any relapses, but I'm afraid that now is not a good time for you to be considering SG-1."

The doctor raised his eyebrows. "And why is that, General?"

"They've just returned from a very taxing mission."

"I see. Well, if you'll just tell me where I can find them, I'll make it quick."

Hammond sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Dr. McKenzie, I'm sure you can understand-"

"- and I'm sure _you_ can understand, General, that I have my orders. They come straight from the top."

Hammond knew that the shrink was right. As much as he hated the idea, he had no power to keep him away from his flag team. "Major Carter and Dr. Fraiser are in the infirmary keeping an eye on Colonel O'Neill, who is recovering from the aftermath of the mission. Daniel Jackson and Teal'c were ordered to rest. They'll still be on base."

"Very well, thank you, General."

As the Psychiatrist left his office, Hammond slumped into his command chair and sighed. "No _thank you_¸ doctor…" He thought sarcastically. Jack, of all people, was in no state to pass a psychological evaluation.

**SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1**

**A FEW HOURS EARLIER**

Jack woke a few hours later, disoriented and afraid. He looked around the dimly lit room, searching for a clue as to his location. He saw heart monitors and noted he was on a hospital bed. This seemed odd as he had woken positive he was in Iraq.

His next thought was that he'd been rescued. Maybe he was at Walter Reed or some other stateside hospital. It was then that he noticed the other bed in the room. On it, a beautiful blonde slept. Her face looked peaceful. Jack smiled involuntarily at the sight.

The door to the room opened and Jack jumped and whipped around to face it. His brain kicked into defense mode. He was determined to protect not only himself, but also the sleeping woman. The look of defense and agitation faded to confusion when he saw the petite brunette in the door frame. She had kind eyes and a caring disposition. He could not be 100 percent sure, but he was fairly certain that this woman was not some Iraqi mistress of torture.

"Colonel?" The woman spoke. Jack noticed that her tone was very cautious.

The noise woke Carter. Jack was still tense, and Janet had stopped in her tracks. You never agitate a disoriented black ops soldier.

"Sir?" Carter asked.

Jack recognized the same concern in the blonde's voice as he heard in the doctor's. _Doctor._ The pieces began to fall back into place. "Doc." He said. It was not a question, just an affirmation. The tension left his muscles and he saw Janet let out a breath of relief.

"Are you alright, sir?" Janet asked as she walked to his side.

"Fine." He replied, his voice slightly husky from sleep. "Had a dream. I'm fine." The relief in his voice at the last part of that statement did not escape Janet.

She nodded and smiled, "Yes, you are."

Fraiser spent the afternoon poking and prodding Jack. Test after stupid test. He hated medical tests. Finally, it was time for the MRI.

**PRESENT TIME**

Jack, Sam, and Janet walked into the MRI room and Jack looked at the machine. The cramped, coffin-like machine. The color drained from his face.

"Ah… Doc?" He forced the words out of his suddenly dry throat.

Janet turned and looked at him questioningly. His paleness startled her and she took two strides until she was by his side again.

"Sir, are you ok?"

Jack just shook his head. He looked on the verge of a panic attack.

Carter put both of her hands on his arm reassuringly. Jack finally forced himself to make eye contact with her.

"Solitary…" He croaked out.

Sam suddenly remembered the projections on the cell wall. The clips of his solitary confinement, particularly. The Iraqis had wooden boxes that were about 5'5"x3'x3'. From what she could tell, they had shoved him into one of these boxes and locked him in. They left him there for days, sometimes a week at a time. She realized how frighteningly similar the MRI machine would seem to one of those little boxes. She also knew that Janet needed to do this test.

"Ok, Colonel… it's ok. But, I _need_ to do this test. We have to see if that device had any long-term negative effects on your cerebral cortex." Janet said softly but earnestly.

Jack's color had begun to return since Carter made eye contact with him. She calmed him and Janet noticed it.

"Ok, Sir, how about if Sam stays in this room with you? And you can focus on her voice?" Janet suggested. "I will get this done as quickly as possible."

Jack reluctantly nodded. "Alright."

He lay down on the bed of the MRI machine, keeping his eyes focused on Carter. Just as Jack slid into the machine, and therefore lost sight of the room, McKenzie walked into the control room, startling Janet. Her hand slammed her clipboard onto the speaker designed to allow her to communicate to the patient in the MRI machine, turning the device on.

"Dr, I'm here to examine SG-1. I hear Jack O'Neill, in particular, is having a rough time. I'd like to talk to him and see if we can help him through this a bit."

The sudden crash in his ears and the unfamiliar male voice saying his name were all it took to rip Jack out of the reality he'd been living in and into a hellish battle for survival. He bolted out of the MRI as soon as he could.

The sudden movement startled Sam. "Colonel! What's wrong?"

Jack shoved Sam out of his way, and she hit the ground roughly. Janet and McKenzie rushed into the room. Janet rushed to Sam to check on her. She was already getting up and clearly not seriously injured.

McKenzie walked right up to Jack, attempting to use his most calming, professional voice. "Colonel O'Neill, I want to help you, do you know where you are?"

"NO! You're not coming near me you sadistic son of a bitch! I'm not going to say it. Back off!" Jack's eyes were wild. Sam and Janet sat back in stunned silence for a few seconds.

McKenzie did not take Jack's advice soon enough. When he failed to back away, Jack grabbed him around the neck and pinned him against the wall. It was clear the psychiatrist could not breathe.

"You hear me, you sick bastard?!" Jack yelled. "I love my country, I love my family, and I'm going to kill you the first chance I get… which might be now. Where are your friends, huh? You're not so tough without your guards are you?"

Jack continued to rant as Janet rushed to the intercom to call for backup. Four orderlies arrived. They grabbed Jack around the neck and arms to immobilize him. Then one of them injected a sedative into his neck. He fought ferociously for almost half a minute before the sedative started to take the fight away. "Bastards…" he spat. Then unconsciousness pulled him away.

Dr. McKenzie sputtered for a few moments, regaining what was left of his dignity. He wasn't seriously injured, either. Once he felt able, he spoke. "I am very sorry to have to do this, but Colonel O'Neill is going to need to come with me."

"What?" Carter all-but-yelled. "The hell he is! You lock him up in a little white room and we'll never get through to him again!"

"Major, in this matter, you have no authority. I have it all. Not even Hammond can step in here-"

"I can." Janet spoke, trying to keep her voice even. "As Colonel O'Neill's primary care physician, I feel that taking him to an institution would be irresponsible and cause further damage to his psyche."

"I'm sorry, Doctor. But you cannot have a man who can just go off like that in public. He needs to be somewhere safe."

"He's _safe_ here." Sam said vehemently. "With his _friends. _His _family._"

McKenzie sighed. "That outburst was completely unprovoked. I'm taking him with me." With that, the Doctor pulled out his cell phone and ordered a gurney and a bus.

Fifteen minutes later, Jack was securely tied up and drugged up. After speaking to Hammond, Carter realized that until they could prove that this was something physical, there was nothing they could do.

McKenzie had jurisdiction here. So, SG-1 stood in the hall and watched the gurney carrying their friend and leader move down the hallway toward the elevator.

Sam had already decided that she would tag along. Daniel and Teal'c had apparently made similar plans.

They piled into Sam's sports car and followed the ambulance to the mental ward of the hospital.

**SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1**

McKenzie unloaded Jack into a wheelchair. The attendants were waiting at the door with a white straight jacket.

Carter looked at McKenzie incredulously. "Is that necessary?"

McKenzie raised one hand to the already forming bruises on his neck. He didn't even answer out loud.

Once Jack was restrained and in the wheel chair, they brought him to his room. It was the same padded room Daniel had stayed in ten weeks ago. The memories evoked on seeing it again had Daniel's heart beating violently against his chest. He was not going to stand by and let this guy to Jack what he did to him.

"Dr. McKenzie, ten weeks ago you were absolutely sure that I was insane. That I had lost my mind because of one too many trips through the 'gate. How can you possibly stand there now and not even ask yourself if this could be physical?"

"I am not ruling out the possibility, Dr. Jackson. This is just a necessary step in-"

"-like HELL it's necessary!" Daniel had not had time to rest much since returning to the SGC, and his exhaustion had over-ridden his diplomatic demeanor. "What is this? You just want a chance to check out Jack's brain? Or are you just happy to shut down our team any chance you get? Who do you work for, McKenzie? NID? Or some other corporate group? How much are they paying you to make sure SG-1 is deemed unfit?!"

"That's ENOUGH!" McKenzie interrupted Daniel's heated and noisy rant. The truth was, he really wasn't working for any covert group. "Clearly, you have been under a lot of stress lately, Daniel. All of you have, but you don't want to let that cloud your judgment.

Daniel took a deep, steadying breath. He knew that there was only one way that he would be able to get McKenzie to cooperate with him. _Time for that signature Daniel charm._ "I'm sorry." He said quietly, conjuring the best wounded puppy-dog face he could. "You're right, you're right. I have been under a lot of stress lately. I watched my best friend endure _horrific_ psychological torture. But I promise you, Jack is stronger than that. There could very well be something physically wrong with him that's propelling the problem… please… will you just let Janet come here, to your facility, and conduct an MRI?"

McKenzie sighed. "I will talk to Dr. Frasier and arrange it."

"Thank you." Daniel said with a sigh of relief.

**SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1**

Hours passed, but they felt like days to Jack. The drugs these guys had him on were really doing a number on him. He knew that drugs meant eventual withdrawal, but right now he didn't care. He didn't care about anything, actually. At all. The apathy was a form of bliss… but also torture. He wanted to care about something. He felt like he wasn't human if he didn't care. But he was human, right? His thoughts were scattered and spaced out. Coherent planning was impossible. No way could he escape this place. He was also vaguely aware that his arms were restrained. Again, he didn't care.

The apathy slowly faded. It gave way to fear. _Where am I?_ He thought.

He rolled over and tried to get up, but he could not move his arms to push off the ground. He was not awake enough to start panicking. He merely looked at the window on the door and saw the eyes of Dr. McKenzie looking in on him. Observing him. Like he was some damned animal. Jack felt like a fly in a jar and he wasn't a fan.

**TBC…**


	7. Broken Angel

**Remains of the Day**

**Chapter 7: Broken Angel**

**A/N: Thanks to the reviewers! I really appreciate it! Also, I know that McKenzie was breaching medical procedure a bit by just pulling Jack out of there… but I really hate shrinks and I'm a bit of a fan of the drama (incase you didn't notice) so I decided to go for the drama stuff instead. Hope you enjoy it!**

The drugs made it impossible for Jack to tell reality from dream, truth from lie, or friend from foe. He'd been laying there on the floor for almost 24 hours. He felt like it had been much longer. He couldn't move or speak. He just stared ahead. He didn't really see his room; he spent endless hours wandering the labyrinth of his mind. Some memories were good; some weren't. But, at the moment, neither mattered. He just wanted to be able to speak.

Carter walked through the door to his small room, nodding slightly to the orderly who held it open for her. Daniel and Teal'c were behind her. She looked down at Jack, and she couldn't stand seeing his beautifully soulful brown eyes so glazed and dull. There was no spark of humor or mischief in them now. They were unbelievably empty, and that emptiness chilled Carter to the bone.

The team stood there for a moment, each in his or her own thoughts. Daniel made the first move. He took a step forward and knelt on one knee to get closer to his friend.

"Jack?" he said quietly.

The older man did not respond.

"Jack, I don't know if you can hear me. I know that the drugs they give you in here are hell…we've, ah- we've been doing this whole 'mental institution' thing too much lately, haven't we?" He allowed himself a small smile that didn't quite reach his blue eyes. His expression shifted and became earnest. "We're gonna get you through this, Jack."

Despite Jack's unresponsiveness, Daniel's words of comfort for the Colonel gave Sam the courage to kneel beside her teammate. She reached out and touched Jack's shoulder. "He's right, Sir. We're going to figure this out. I've been talking to Janet; she thinks that there's something physical going on here. But, even if there isn't… Colonel, everyone has a breaking point. You've been through so much… you've seen so much… I guess I'm just trying to say that even if this isn't physical, none of us thinks any less of you. And we'll help you out of this, ok?"

_Everyone has a breaking point… none of us thinks any less of you. _The words were muted, distorted, and far away, but he heard them. He wanted to say something. To thank her. To tell her that she was wrong, that he was weak. To yell at her because she should know that he's stronger than that. He didn't know what he would say, he just knew that, at that moment, he would have given anything to be able to speak to her.

The team sat in silence for a long while. They didn't want to leave Jack until they were forced. Since Janet was scheduled to be at the hospital sometime that day, they knew they could probably get away with staying with him until the MRI.

Dark, scattered thoughts forced themselves on him. It was a barrage of his worst nightmares slamming into his thoughts one after another. He felt like he was under fire. His head was killing him. He was in emotional and physical agony, but he could not scream. He couldn't even force a single word out of his dried lips. All he could do was grunt and moan.

Carter and Daniel sat by their friend, and Teal'c towered above them, like a loyal century standing watch. The moans ripped each of them from their thoughts. As Jack moaned loudly, his open, unseeing eyes suddenly slammed shut and his face contorted in pain.

"Daniel, get McKenzie!" Carter ordered. Daniel didn't even have time to argue the command as Sam was already tending to Jack, trying to comfort him. She undid the straps on the straightjacket with a little help from Teal'c. Jack's arms were finally free. He brought both hands to his temples and tried to ease the pain in his head.

"Colonel, it's Carter, can you hear me?"

Jack just grunted again. Teal'c knelt at Major Carter's side in an effort to render assistance, but there was little he could do.

Sam rolled Jack onto his back and cradled his head. He had lowered his hands. The agony seemed to have subsided slightly, but he was still clearly in pain. She stroked his graying hair softly and tried to whisper words of assurance to him.

The door opened and Daniel re-entered, followed by Dr. McKenzie and, to Sam's great relief, Janet Frasier.

"He's in pain." Sam said, looking desperately to Janet for help.

"Pain? That doesn't make sense…" McKenzie said quietly.

Janet heard it, and, as she shouldered her way past the psychiatrist toward her patient, she spoke, "Still think this is psychological?" Despite her complete focus on Colonel O'Neill, or perhaps _because_ of her focus on Colonel O'Neill, she could not keep the smugness out of her voice as she gave McKenzie a not-so-subtle _I told you so. _

"Colonel O'Neill, Sir? It's ok, you're going to be ok." Janet's voice was reassuring yet confident. She could manage to convey concern and care along with a strong assurance that she was in charge and nothing was going to hurt you all in one phrase. Daniel always marveled at her ability to do that, even when one of his friends was hurt. She truly was an amazing woman.

"His pulse is rapid and his respiration is shallow. We need to calm him down!" Janet ordered.

"How? I don't even know if he can hear us." Sam said.

Janet, whose hand was still on Jack's pulse, looked at Sam with a hint of surprise. "Keep talking, Sam, his pulse slowed slightly."

Sam looked uncertain but realized she didn't have much of a choice. Her CO was about to hyperventilate in her arms. "Ok… Colonel O'Neill? Can you hear me? It's Carter, Sir. We're all right here. Me, Daniel, Teal'c, and Janet. You're alright, Sir. You're safe. We're going to take you back to the SGC and you'll be better in no time, but first I need you to calm down. I know you're in pain, but please, just focus on your breathing."

Little by little, Jack's respirations slowed to a normal rate.

"Good, very good, Sir." Janet said with a relieved smile.

Much to Sam's surprise, Jack breathed out a word. "Carter?"

It was Sam's turn to smile. "Yes, Sir. I'm right here."

"Head…hurts… bad…" He forced out.

"Don't worry, Sir. We're going to head back to the SGC and I'll figure out what's causing this." Janet said, giving McKenzie a pointed look. The psychiatrist had to admit that the newest symptom did point to something physical.

"Doc?" Jack asked, his voice sounding slightly surprised.

"Yes, Sir. Didn't think you'd get away from me that easily, did you?"

A ghost of a smile played at the corners of Jack's mouth. "Wouldn't… dream of it… just, please… no needles."

Janet smiled down at the Colonel as the orderlies lifted the man onto the gurney. In less than 30 minutes, they were back at Cheyenne Mountain.

**SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1**

Janet left Sam with Jack while she prepped the MRI machine.

Daniel and Teal'c went to brief General Hammond on the situation.

**SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1**

"Carter…" Jack said weakly.

"Yes, Sir?" She was unashamedly holding his hand. She gave it a soft squeeze.

"I… couldn't talk…" he mumbled.

"What, Sir?"

"Couldn't say… thanks…"

Carter frowned. "Thanks for what, Sir?"

"Angel… in the night…mares… talking…" He lost the battle he'd been fighting against the sedatives still coursing through his system.

Carter just reached out and brushed a stray strand of hair from his forehead. "You're welcome, Sir."

**SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1**

With Jack unconscious, it was very easy to conduct the MRI. Janet got the scans she needed and they moved Jack back to his private room without incident.

Janet walked into her office and found McKenzie waiting for her.

"Doctor." Janet nodded.

McKenzie returned the gesture. "Did the results show anything?"

Janet made her way around him to her desk. She sat, her fatigue written on her face. "I'm not sure yet," she said with a sigh, "I was just about to look them over."

McKenzie nodded understanding. "Mind if I sit in?" He asked.

"Why would I mind that?" Janet replied coldly.

McKenzie sighed, too. "We're supposed to be colleagues, Doctor Frasier."

Janet looked up at him; the anger in her eyes was very obvious. "Colleagues don't take patients away from each other, Doctor."

"That's not fair." McKenzie said softly. "I was under orders. The men who oversee this program told me to do a follow-up. After the incident 10 weeks ago, they wanted to make sure everyone was alright. When I saw how Colonel O'Neill was acting, I had to make a judgment call."

"He was my patient!" Janet all but yelled.

"Exactly. Doctor Frasier, you cannot deny that you have strong emotional ties to SG-1. Sam Carter is your best friend. I know you care deeply for Dr. Jackson-"

"-I-"

"-I'm a psychiatrist, Doctor. Your feelings for Daniel don't pass me by any more than his feelings for you. Or Major Carter's feelings for Colonel O'Neill, and Vice Versa. And, isn't Jack O'Neill your daughter's Godfather?"

"Yes, so are Daniel and Teal'c… SG-1 is her surrogate family."

"And yours." McKenzie supplied.

Janet looked up at him. "Yes." She admitted. "But I _never_ let that get in the way of my job. If anything, it drives me to work harder when problems arise."

"Which is what happened here, Doctor. You were so determined to find something that you could cure in Jack O'Neill that you didn't even stop to consider that maybe the man had just been pushed too far. You were positive that the problem was physical."

Janet lifted the MRI results to McKenzie. She'd been glancing them over while he lectured her. "And I was right. Look, you see the increased activity in the Hippocampus and Amygdala? Those are the sections of the brain involved in memory recall. He was shot with a strangely configured energy weapon and then had his brain interfaced with a piece of alien technology. It was logical to assume the problem was physical."

"And ten weeks ago? Was it logical then to assume that the problem was physical?" McKenzie cut in.

"No, but-"

"That's my point, Doctor. You care so much about SG-1. Do you really think that you can be objective? If one of them truly developed a psychological disorder, would you call me? Or would you spend hours and days trying to find a physical explanation?"

Janet pursed her lips. "When no physical explanation could be found, then I would call you. But until then, it would be irresponsible to call you. These people are traveling to alien planets daily. They are exposed to god-knows-what. Agents that this planet's medicine knows nothing about. Tells me _nothing_ about. But I do not let my feelings get in the way of this job. You'll find, Doctor, that whether it's Jack O'Neill in that bed or James Armstrong from accounting, I will give the same amount of energy in solving the problem."

McKenzie raised his hands in surrender. Frasier was a petite woman, but she was a force to be reckoned with. "Can you at least see how my superiors would be concerned about your objectivity?"

"Yes." Janet acquiesced. "But, I hope that you can see now that they are wrong in that concern."

McKenzie nodded. "And I will report those findings to them."

Janet nodded her thanks and left her office. She had to explain the cause to Sam and Colonel O'Neill, and then to Daniel, Teal'c, and Hammond.

**SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1**

"So, what can we do?" Sam asked.

"Well, I'm going to let him rest for now. I want to do a full battery of tests tomorrow. A more comprehensive MRI and a CT scan. Right now, I'm drawing some blood for testing. I want to make sure that we're not dealing with any hidden bugs here."

Sam nodded. "So, they didn't break him? It was just the device and the weapon messing with his brain functions?" She asked.

Janet shrugged. "I don't know, Sam. Right now, the problem is being caused by messed up brain chemistry, but Colonel O'Neill has had some horrible experiences in his life."

Sam nodded again. "I know… they were projected on the wall of the cell…"

Janet sighed. "Sam, are _you_ ok?"

Sam looked up at her. "Of course I am, Janet. The Colonel's the one who's been through hell."

Janet shook her head. "Not the only one. Sam, he suffered, but so did you. It must have been hard to watch him suffer like that."

"Of course it was hard, but…" Sam trailed off, not finishing the thought.

"But what, Sam?"

Carter sighed. "We had to be strong. All of us. For him. He was fighting so hard… we couldn't show him the effect it was having on us. It would have killed him… oh, god, Janet! It was so hard!" Sam's words caught in her throat as a sob escaped.

"Hey, hey…" Janet rushed around the bed to her friend and gave her a hug. Carter cried openly on Janet's shoulder. "Shh…. Shh… it's alright, now. You're home, and we'll get the Colonel back to normal… shh…" She continued to whisper words of comfort and rock her friend back and forth.

Unbeknownst to them, McKenzie was watching from Janet's office door. He shook his head. _It would have taken me weeks to get her to open up like that…_ He smiled. Maybe an emotional connection to the people you work with wasn't such a bad thing. He also suddenly realized why no one on base liked or needed him. _They already have counselors and therapists…_

**TBC…**

**I see the light at the end of the tunnel, but, don't worry, I promise after math and possible shippy-goodness… but, we'll see… :D**


	8. To Return

**Remains of the Day**

**Chapter 8: To Return**

Jack woke up to the sound of rustling next to him. He looked up and saw Daniel flipping through the pages of some archeological journal.

"Carter?" Jack asked, his voice still painfully weak.

Daniel looked up at him suddenly. "Jack, you're- you're awake." His voice seemed slightly hesitant. He was nervous that Jack would suddenly decide that he was an Iraqi or something. Jack sighed at the fear, and Daniel decided to just continue. "Janet sent Sam to her quarters to get some rest a couple of hours ago. She should be back soon."

Jack nodded. "You guys… ok?"

Daniel's eyes widened slightly in surprise. He could never get over Jack's selflessness when it came to his team. "Of course we're ok, Jack. You, on the other hand, you don't look so good."

Jack scoffed. "I've definitely been better."

There was silence for a few moments. Jack spoke again, "How long have I been… here?"

Daniel put down his journal. "We brought you back here from the hospital yesterday at around 3 in the afternoon."

" 't time's it now?" Jack asked tiredly.

Daniel smiled. "It's almost 10 pm. You were pretty heavily drugged up when you got here, and then Janet had to sedate you again to do a second MRI."

"Just say no… unless you're talkin' to a doctor?"

Daniel continued to smile, Jack was sounding a bit more like himself. "Something like that, yeah."

"MRI tell ya anything?" Jack continued, though Daniel could see that he was clearly fighting sleep.

"I'm not sure yet, Janet's-"

He was unable to finish his thought, because at just that moment, Janet walked in with Sam, Teal'c, and Hammond in tow. She was smiling broadly. Daniel and Jack looked at her expectantly.

"I have good news, Sir. The activity in your hippocampus and amygdala seems to be decreasing naturally. All of the tests confirm that any negative effect that device had on you is temporary. You're not quite back to normal yet, but you're getting there."

"Normal's… overrated." He pushed out. As he smiled, his eyes slid shut. He really was exhausted, and now that he knew he was going to get out of this nightmare, he finally felt like he could sleep peacefully.

Janet motioned silently for everyone to leave the room. The one thing that the Colonel needed now more than anything else was rest.

**SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1**

Over the next few days, Jack slowly regained his strength and became more lucid. By the third day, he was almost back to the old Jack O'Neill.

"Doc!" he squawked from the bed.

Janet sighed. "I told you, Colonel, you are _not_ leaving yet."

"But I feel _fine_. I'm _bet-ter_. I want to go _home._ You know, that place where the heart is? As a doctor, you should know… asking a patient to live without his heart is dangerous at best!"

Janet turned and faced him. "See this, Colonel?" She pointed to the cardio-monitor. "Hear that steady, rhythmic beating? _That_ is the heart that you can't live without. And this machine says that you have it. And it's just as stubborn and incessant as you are. I doubt that it's in danger of going anywhere."

Carter walked into the room. From the exasperated expression on Janet's face and the frown on the Colonel's she assumed that all was beginning to return to normal.

"Janet, you didn't tell him, did you?"

Janet cast Sam a cautious look, trying to tell the Major to shut up.

"Tell me what?!" Jack cut in.

Janet sighed. She stepped back and gestured grandly to Jack, giving Sam permission to answer the question.

"Janet says that you're well enough to go home. But _only_ if someone stays with you. At all times."

Jack's eyes lit up. He looked almost like a little kid. "So, Daniel's gonna take me home?" Jack assumed.

"Actually, Sir, Daniel wasn't available until about midnight. SG-15 needed him on a consult. They think they may have found the ruins of a civilization connected to the Ancients. Daniel is pouring over the photos working on the translations. Janet said that you'd have to wait until then… but, I volunteered."

"Oh, Carter! I could kiss you! I mean…" Jack's face turned beat red. He was still on mild sedatives, which loosened his tongue a bit more than he would have liked.

Janet decided that it would be best to simply ignore the comment entirely, and Carter decided to follow suit. Though, the heat she could feel spreading across her cheeks seemed determined to remind her.

Jack took a deep breath to regain his composure. "So, Carter… shall we go?"

"Not so fast, Colonel." Janet said. Jack sighed.

"You said I could go!" He all but whined.

"Yes I did, and you can. _But_ you need all of your meds and Sam needs the instructions. You might be feeling ok right now, Sir, but, as you know, you're on a roller coaster right now. If Sam hadn't promised to keep a perpetual eye on you, I wouldn't be letting you leave yet. And I will be stopping by your house tonight. And tomorrow morning. And tomorrow night… you get my drift?"

Jack sighed again. "Yeah, yeah, I get it. Can I go?" His impatience was remarkably similar to Cassie's when she first learned about chocolate. Frasier smiled a bit.

"Well, Sam, I unload this burden on you. Good luck." She handed Sam the pills and a schedule for the medication. As Sam followed a very enthusiastic Colonel out the door, Janet called after them, "And _no_ beer!!"

**SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1**

For the first few minutes of the journey through the corridors, Jack seemed fine. Every airman that Sam and he would pass would wave or nod or give him a smile. Jack started off smiling joyfully at each of them, but by the time they made it to the elevator, he seemed tired, despondent, and slightly agitated. _Well, Janet said he's having mood swings. _Sam thought.

"It's ok, Sir. We're almost to the surface and then it will be homeward bound. We can watch the hockey game and order-"

"-You think I need a baby sitter, Major?" He snapped at her. "Why can't anyone understand that I'm an adult? I can handle myself!" Jack was almost yelling.

Sam tried to hold back the hurt expression, but it made it to her eyes despite her best efforts. "Sorry, Sir… of course I don't think you need a baby sitter."

"Good. I don't." He pursed his lips and stared straight ahead. The entire car ride to his house was spent in silence. Sam wanted to talk to him, but she couldn't find the words. And he didn't seem to want conversation.

They pulled slowly into his driveway, the tires crunching on the gravel. Jack slipped out of the passenger seat almost before the truck had stopped rolling and headed inside.

Sam sighed, turned off the ignition, grabbed her overnight bag, and followed him in.

She walked in and found him reclining on the couch, remote in hand. She hesitated a bit. She didn't know how he would react if she sat down next to him, but she needed to keep a relatively close eye on him.

Jack felt her eyes on him, and he looked up at her.

His eyes softened as he looked at her. "Ah, Carter, I-"

"-It's ok."

"No! Dammit! It's not ok, Carter! You've… really helped me the last couple of weeks… I'm sorry, ok?" He looked down and avoided eye contact. He was clearly shamed by his outburst.

Carter didn't know what to say, so she just mumbled something about accepting the apology and quickly changed the subject. "What are we watching?" She smiled, though the cheerfulness in her voice was slightly forced.

Jack gave her a small smile. "The Canucks ok with you? Or would you rather a movie?"

She relaxed and sat down next to him on the couch. "Sir, I love the Canucks."

He chuckled a bit. He knew she was lying. The game ended up serving as little more than background noise anyway when Jack turned to face her and she imitated the gesture.

"I'm not entirely sure why, Carter… but when I was…" He was clearly struggling to word his thoughts. "I mean, I've never been good with the whole… _talking_ thing."

"Sir, you don't have to say anything to me… I understand."

He sighed. "But I do have to tell you this, Sam." When he used her first name she was a little surprised. He'd only called her Sam a handful of times. He continued and pulled her from her shock. "Look, when they were… torturing me… it was always your voice that broke through. You _grounded_ me, Sam. You kept me…" he trailed off, and then picked up the sentence in a different place, "you helped me remember the good. They were throwing so much bad at me, Sam… _so much bad_." Jack's voice faded away. He looked close to tears, which almost scared Carter. She reached out and touched his shoulder.

"Sir, you're ok now. You're ok."

Jack leaned toward her and hugged her tightly. It wasn't romantic, it was desperate. He was trying to ground himself, to remind himself that he was safe. She was reminded of the hug in Hathor's lab.

She hugged back. The Colonel did not cry, but he didn't speak for fear of breaking the lump in his throat. When at last he felt able to speak, he said three simple words. Three words that made the past few weeks almost seem worth it to Sam Carter.

"Thank you, Sam."

She smiled into his neck. "You're welcome, Sir."

He pulled back and Sam smiled at him. He almost never opened up like this, and by thanking her, she knew that he really was on his way to recovering. Jack O'Neill was still with her. And he was starting to return.

**TBC…**


	9. Sweet Emotion

**Remains of the Day**

**Chapter 9: Sweet Emotion**

A knock at the door jarred Jack from the peaceful sleep he'd fallen into. He became aware of Sam's hand on his own only when she removed it to go answer the harsh knocking. His hand felt shockingly cold and alone without her heat. He sighed. _I'm drugged up… that explains the emotions. The drugs._ He knew it was a lie, but he told it to himself anyway. Admitting anything else was practically asking for a court martial.

He heard Sam greet the company. Apparently, there was more than one visitor. _Daniel and Janet._ He deduced.

A couple of seconds later, Sam led the way and confirmed his suspicions. She had the Doctor and the Archeologist in tow.

"Colonel, you woke up." Sam said, casting Janet and Daniel a slightly reprimanding glance.

"Yes, Carter. Daniel's knocking will do that." Jack said. His voice was husky from sleep but his tone was classic, sarcastic Jack O'Neill.

"Wa-wait, how do you know it was me knocking?" Daniel asked, incredulous.

"Daniel, how many times have you knocked on that door? You have a distinctive five rap knock. Doc knocks a bit softer and she repeats the pattern. You just knock _very_ loudly, five times. To the tune of 'shave and a haircut'."

Daniel blushed a little bit, but then smiled. Jack was acting remarkably like himself.

Janet was smiling too. "You seem to be doing much better."

Jack cast a careful look at Carter. He still felt bad for his outburst earlier. Janet didn't miss it.

"Is everything ok?" She asked, suddenly concerned.

"Yes." Jack spoke rather firmly. He softened his tone. "I'm just still on a bit of a roller coaster."

Janet gave Sam a questioning look. Jack O'Neill had a history of downplaying symptoms. Sam nodded, confirming the statement. Janet gave Jack a sympathetic look. "Well, Sir, that's to be expected."

Jack nodded.

**SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1**

A few hours later, the four of them sat around Jack's card table playing poker. Janet had looked over Jack and deemed him as healthy as could be expected. She had also decided to stay with him for a while to keep an eye on things. When Daniel and Sam also decided to stay, Jack could only think of one logical course of action. Thus, Daniel was strapped for chips, and Jack was smiling broadly at him over the tower of chips in his possession. Sam and Janet were definitely holding their own, too.

"Call." Daniel said firmly, pushing the remainder of his chips into the pile.

Jack raised both eyebrows. "Ok, we're all done the betting now that Danny-boy's all in. Whadda ya got?"

Sam revealed two clubs, 3 and 7. The cards already shown were 5 of Clubs, 8 of Clubs, Ace of Spades, and a 6 of Clubs. The three other players looked at her incredulously. _No way was she going to get a straight flush in a game of Hold 'Em!_

Jack sighed, and flipped his two Aces over. Three of a kind ain't bad…

Janet had three of a kind also, but she had three Eights.

Daniel paled a bit. He flipped his cards. He had two fives.

Jack laughed. "Oh, Danny… fives… too bad…" He shook his head.

The River was turned and everyone just stared at it in disbelief. It was the five of hearts. Daniel got four of a kind. And won the pot.

After recovering from the shock, Jack stood with a sigh. "And on that _depressing_ note, I'm going to bed." Everyone looked slightly disappointed. "You guys can stay if you want. Make yourselves at home. There's a spare bedroom and there's a pullout couch in there, too. If Carter and the Doc want to take that, Daniel can have the couch out here?"

Janet shook her head. "I have to be getting home to Cassie, Sir. Thank you, though."

"Ok," he turned to Carter and Daniel. "Doc says I need a sitter. Which one of you drew the short straw?"

Daniel smiled. "I'm fine with the couch, Jack. Sam can have the bed."

Jack looked at Sam questioningly. "You guys are both going to stay here?"

"Don't have anything better to do. General Hammond gave us tomorrow off." Carter said.

Jack smiled. "See, there ya go. All we need to do to get the vacation time we deserve is let one of our team members get tortured once every four months or so… it's the key to getting leave on a regular basis." Jack flashed a smile.

Sam and Daniel seemed unsure of how to react to that. It was meant to be funny, but Jack _had _been tortured. They all had, really.

Jack clapped his hands together and turned to Janet. "It was nice to have your company, Doc. I'll see you tomorrow, I assume?"

"Yes, you will." Janet flashed him a smile.

Jack grimaced. Then turned and headed toward his bedroom.

**SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1**

Jack had slept for only an hour or so when he woke in a cold sweat. The worst part about any form of post traumatic stress disorder was the dreams. He rose to a sitting position and put his face in his hands. He stood and made his way through the dark room to the bathroom. He splashed some cold water on his face.

Sam was not quite asleep yet, and she heard the movement in the bathroom and decided to check on it. She found Jack looking pale and scared. He shook slightly.

"Sir, are you ok?" She asked quietly.

He sighed. "Fine, Carter. I just had a nightmare."

Sam's face softened. "Sir, with the meds that you took, you need to be in bed."

"I know, I just don't want to dream, Carter. I don't want to relive…" He sighed.

There was silence between them for a moment. "I can sit in there with you, Sir… until you fall asleep?"

Jack looked at her. "Carter, you're not my mother. I don't need a mother." His voice wasn't harsh as it had been earlier. It was worn down. Resigned to the fact that he would have to face his demons again.

"I know you don't, Sir. I'm not your mother. I'm your friend. And it really looks like you could use a friend."

Jack looked at her with gratitude. Silently, he walked back to his room. Sam followed.

Jack lay down on his bed and pulled the blanket up over his chest. Sam sat down on the edge of the bed and smiled down at him. She could see the exhaustion in his eyes as his lids slid shut.

Before long, Sam felt her eyes getting heavy too. She stood to head back to her bed, but Jack's grip on her had tightened. He wouldn't let go of her. It was like he was clinging to her, through sleep, for support. Sam sighed. She couldn't bring herself to wake him; she didn't even know if she could with the pills that he had taken.

She decided that for him, she could stay up until he was relaxed enough to let her hand go.

**SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1**

Daniel woke early the next morning. Jack's couch was surprisingly comfortable. Every time he spent the night, he was surprised at how comfortable the worn couch really was. He sat up and ran a hand through his scruffy hair, then headed to the kitchen and started some coffee.

He started toward Sam's room to wake her, but a knock at the front door diverted him. He opened it and found Janet.

"You're back early." He said with a smile.

Janet returned the smile. "Daniel, it's almost 10, you've just been rather exhausted lately."

Daniel smiled sheepishly. "Well, it's been a trying week. I was, ah, I was just about to wake up Sam. Come on in."

Janet did. She followed Daniel to the kitchen area, where she sat down at the table. She stood almost immediately when Daniel came back around the corner. "Sam's not in her room." He whispered.

Janet frowned in confusion. "Bathroom?" She mouthed.

Daniel shrugged. "Maybe?" Janet followed him out this time. When a search of the bathroom revealed nothing, Janet's face lit with understanding. She quietly opened the door, but could not help the slight gasp that escaped her at the sight before her eyes.

Sam was asleep, slumped practically on top of the Colonel. The two were holding hands. Daniel tried to suppress his smile. He failed. He opted to gently grab Janet's shoulder and turn the petite doctor away. He led her into the living room. She still looked shell-shocked.

"Janet, you know what must have happened there, right?"

Janet nodded. "The Colonel must have been having a hard time. She probably went in to help him back to sleep and accidentally fell asleep herself."

Daniel nodded. "They're not involved." He elaborated.

Janet looked at him, surprised, "I know that! I'd just hate to have to explain that to General Hammond."

Daniel smiled. "I think he'd understand… Senator Kinsey on the other hand…"

Janet chuckled just thinking about it.

**SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1**

Jack woke first. When he felt the warmth and weight of another body, he looked up, slightly confused. When he came face to face with 2IC, he panicked momentarily. _What the hell happened last night?_ He collected himself a bit when he noticed her slightly awkward position. She had obviously not meant to spend the night in his bed.

_His bed._ He smiled a bit at that thought, even though he liked to deny his feelings for her.

Carter stirred, too. Her initial reaction was a shocked, wide-eyed stare. Then, her face turned several shades of red. Finally, she decided to try to speak. "Sir, I- I'm so- so sorry. I didn't mean to-"

"-Shh. It's ok, Carter. I know." He smiled at her.

_Oh yeah, this woman controlled his emotions way more than he would like to admit. But these emotions were, at least, happy._

**SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1**

Sam and Jack quietly made their way to the kitchen, trying not to wake Daniel. When they turned the corner and saw not only a very awake Daniel, but also a smiling, knowing Janet, they all but moaned.

Carter blushed again.

It wouldn't have been as bad if everyone in the room didn't know full well that, were regulations different, Jack and Sam _would_ be sharing a bed.

Jack sighed.

_Damn emotions._

**TBC…**

**Tried to make this one slightly humorous. Hope you smiled a bit.**


	10. Waiting on an Angel

**Remains of the Day**

**Chapter 10: Waiting on an Angel**

"Doc, I am _fine_!" Jack said emphatically.

Janet sighed. In the past week, the Colonel really had improved. His recovery was progressing remarkably well. The flashbacks had gone away completely, as had the mood swings. Judging from the dark rims around his brown eyes, the nightmares were still there, but that was to be expected. Despite his insistence, though, Janet didn't feel he was quite ready for active duty yet.

"Sir, I'm glad that you're feeling better, but you've been through a lot. You still need time to process."

Jack's eyes darkened slightly. "Process what? That my team got a firsthand look at the worst moments of my life? I don't _want_ to process that, Doc. I just want to put it behind me and move on."

Janet looked at him, her soft eyes reflecting understanding and sympathy. "I know you don't, Sir. But I think that you have to." After a pause, she decided to face the bull straight on. "Have you talked about it? To them, I mean?"

Jack, who had been staring at a lovely section of linoleum, snapped his head up and met her eyes. "No!" He paused and took a deep breath, "I wouldn't even know where to start… what do I say to them? Sorry you had to see that?"

Janet reached out and laid a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "Sir, I'm sure you'll think of something, just talk to them."

"Yeah… it's that talking thing I've never been great at." Jack said as he slid off the infirmary bed. As he headed for the door, he turned and looked at her. "Doc?"

Janet looked up at him questioningly.

"Thanks." He turned and left before she could respond. She stared at the empty door frame for a few seconds, and then turned back toward her office. She suddenly knew that Jack and the rest of SG-1 would be fine.

Jack sauntered into the cafeteria. He had his mind set on getting a piece of pumpkin pie. Nothing was going to distract him from that goal. Until he saw Daniel and Teal'c sitting at SG-1's usual table. He veered off course.

"Hey campers." He said quietly.

"Jack!" Daniel looked up, surprised to see him on base. "What are you doing here?"

"Good to see you too, Daniel." Jack said with a slightly smug smile.

"Well- I mean- good to see you, but-"

"-relax Daniel. I've only been on base for about, ooohhhh-" he looked at his watch in an exaggerated hand motion- "20 minutes. Good ol' Doc Fraiser wanted to take a look at me in the proper setting of the infirmary. Says I'm hunky dory."

Daniel smiled, "That's great, Jack! So, are we back on the missions list?"

Jack sighed. "Alas, no… you know the Doc… always gotta hinder us from getting out there one way or another."

Daniel's smile wavered. "But, you said you were fine."

"I am. Doc said so too. She said I have to process and get in touch with my inner child or something…" Jack said with a vague wave of his hand. "So, we're grounded for a few more days."

Daniel gave Jack a reassuring smile and opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off by Teal'c.

"What is an _inner child_, O'Neill… do you possess a child within you?"

Daniel's reassuring smile shifted to an amused one, and Jack's lips curled up also. "Yeah, T, I didn't tell you? Instead of snakes in our guts, humans have kids in their chests."

Teal'c gave Jack a perplexed look.

"Jack!" Daniel cut in. "Teal'c, it's a figure of speech. Uh, children are a symbol of innocence and happiness and fun and when someone goes through a traumatic event, sometimes they need to reconnect with that innocence."

"I see, DanielJackson." The Jaffa responded, though it was clear he was still confused.

"Anyway," Daniel said rising, "I have some images of ruins brought back by SG-8 to analyze and translate."

"And I must Kel-no-reem. O'Neill, it is most pleasing to have you back at Star Gate Command."

"Likewise, T. Daniel… enjoy your rocks."

His two team members left the commissary and Jack couldn't help but feel alone. Now that he was doing much better, his team seemed to be avoiding him. He knew that avoiding was the wrong word. They were uncomfortable around him. _I guess now they've had an all access pass to my brain the relationship has shifted._ He sighed. He didn't want pie any more. He wanted his team back.

**SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1**

Jack sat at his desk staring at the pile of paper work. This was getting ridiculous. It had been a day since he'd talked to Daniel, or even seen Carter. He knew that even if they felt slightly uncomfortable around him, he was avoiding them too. Because the damn Doctor was right. He knew he had to talk this out with them. He sighed. This mission report wasn't getting anywhere.

He pushed himself up, left his small, cramped office, and headed toward the briefing room.

He arrived outside of General Hammond's office and knocked on the open door in his signature way.

"Jack, come in." Hammond said with a smile.

Jack walked in and sat down in the well-worn leather chair across from his CO.

"What's on your mind, son?" Hammond could tell that something was bothering Jack, and after all the man had been through, a little personal touch couldn't hurt.

"My team, Sir. This whole thing…" Jack paused for a moment, trying to chase the memories away, "Well, it's been hard, General. On all of them. And I'm just…" The Colonel sighed. "I'm not sure how to fix it." Jack hated being open and vulnerable, but if anyone would know how to deal with this situation, he figured it would be Hammond.

The General sighed. "It's been a rough stretch, Jack. I don't deny that. But you're team is strong. It's been a long time since I've seen a team as close as you. That makes something like what you've all just been through tough. But it also means that you'll pull through. Like you always do."

His Texas draw slowed the pace of the words and let Jack absorb each one individually. When he finally met the General's eyes, he saw a smile and nothing but support there.

"You're right, General. And I suppose that you would fall in the Doc. Fraiser camp on how to address this, yes?"

The General smiled, "If by the 'Doctor Fraiser camp' you mean that I think you should actually talk this out with your team, then yes, Colonel. I am."

Jack sighed, but his eyes were happy and he looked as if a burden had been lifted off his shoulders. "Yes, well, Doc Fraiser can be crazy sometimes… I thought I should get a second opinion."

"Well, you have it, Colonel."

"Thank you, General." Jack said as he pushed himself out of the chair. Hammond could see that he was already thinking about his team. The man played dumb, but in reality, he planned everything five steps ahead of others and his mind was always working.

**SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1**

His first stop was Daniel's office. He knew that the archeologist would be there, and that Daniel would be the most receptive to his proposition.

He knocked and the younger man looked up. "Jack," he said, again surprised by the Colonel's presence. "How are you? I haven't seen you since yesterday. Is everything alright? I was going to ask Janet later if you were ok, but I-"

"- Daniel, it's fine." Jack held out his hands in a surrendering gesture. "I was just saying hey." Jack looked at the man's desk and found a rock from some planet to play with.

"So, ah, I was wonderin'… you, Carter, and T. My place? Tonight? For pizza and beer and… hockey?"

Daniel sighed, "I don't know, Jack, I have a lot to do…"

"Come on, Daniel. It's one night. A couple hours. I think that we need some team time. To regroup after… everything that's happened."

Daniel was surprised. It sounded like Jack was actually going to talk about this to them, rather than burry it the way he usually did. Well, if Jack O'Neill was going to get in touch with his feelings, Daniel Jackson certainly couldn't say no. "Alright, Jack. What time?"

Jack smiled. "Seven?"

Daniel nodded. "I'll be there. With Teal'c and Guinness."

"Excellent!" Jack said, doing his best impression of Mr. Burns. "But-ah, before I leave to find Carter… are you ok, Daniel?" Jack kicked himself. _Worst. Segue. Ever._

The archeologist would have sputtered if he had taken a sip of the coffee in his hands. "Am I- ok? What do you mean?"

Jack sighed. He hated this emotional stuff. "This whole… thing… that we went through. Well, it sucks. I've-a, I've been busy working through my own stuff, and, it just didn't really occur to me that you guys must have had… I mean, it must have been hard. To watch."

Daniel's eyes burned a bit as he remembered the agony of watching his friend go through that. "Yeah, it was." He paused for a minute. "But I'm ok, Jack. We're ok. As long as you're ok."

Jack smiled. "I am. I just wanted to make sure that you're ok and that you, ya know, that you know that I'm here to talk. If you need to. Or, anything." Jack was so awkward with this stuff. Daniel couldn't help but smile a bit. He tried to hide it, and much to his relief, Jack ignored it.

"Thanks, Jack. And, that goes for you, too. I know that you hate this… this talking thing, but, if you ever need to, I'm here."

Jack smiled. This wasn't _so_ bad. "Right then. See you at seven?"

Daniel smiled. "Yes you will. And Jack- Thanks."

The Colonel smiled. "'Welcome." And then he left the office.

Daniel smiled again. This would be good for them, he decided.

Daniel was going to take care of getting Teal'c to Jack's house, and O'Neill knew that he and the Jaffa shared a bond. They wouldn't need to talk this out. Teal'c was a warrior. He had lost family and been tortured. He understood. Which left Carter.

He rounded the corner to her office and found the lights off. He knocked anyway. "Carter?"

There was no answer.

_Commissary?_ He thought. He turned and headed there. _I could use some pie anyway._

The trip to the commissary wielded some of the best pumpkin pie Jack had ever tasted (probably because he was so hungry) but no Major Samantha Carter.

He sighed. After a thorough search of the armory, the weight room, the gate room, and the infirmary, Jack still could not find Sam.

At a loss, he headed back to Daniel's lab.

"Hey." He said as he entered.

"Hey." Daniel responded.

"Have you seen Carter?" Jack's voice sounded a bit more desperate then he would have liked it to, but he needed to find his 2IC.

"Uh… I think she went home. Something about needing some time to relax."

Jack sighed. "Okey-dokey." He slid off the stool he had sat on and left. "See you at 7!" he called over his shoulder just before disappearing into the hall.

**SG1SG1SG1SG1**

"Signing out early, Sir?" The airman at the front gate asked as Jack logged out.

"Yup. Got a date with some pizza and a very comfortable couch. Can't be late. The couch gets cranky."

The airman smiled and snapped a quick salute, which Jack lazily returned as he made his way to his pick-up truck.

20 minutes later, he was in front of Carter's house. He hesitated for a moment. He had a sneaking suspicion that his avoidance had caused her to come home early. After all she had done to help him through this, he felt like a real ass hole for it.

He decided that there was no turning back and slid out of his car. He made his way to the front door and knocked twice.

"Just a minute!" He heard Carter call from inside. When she opened the door, Jack's nostrils were assaulted with the smell of chocolate chip cookies. Freshly baked.

"Sir!" Carter said, surprised.

"Hey Carter. I wondered if I could…" he faded and gestured toward the interior of the house.

"Oh, of course. Are you ok, Sir? Do you need anything?" She asked as he made his way by her.

"No, Carter, I'm fine. I actually came because," he took a deep breath. Getting emotional with anyone was hard, getting emotional with Carter was damn-near dangerous. "I wondered how you were?"

The look of shock that came over her blue eyes would have been funny if not for the circumstance. She didn't respond.

"I know that it's been rough on you" Jack elaborated, "and I've been too busy up till now dealing with my own stuff. But a wise little bee whispered in my ear that I should probably talk to you guys… and then everyone's favorite teddy bear confirmed it."

Carter's face crumpled in confusion for a moment. "Sir, are you sure you're ok?"

"I'm fine Major. The question is are you?"

Sam sighed. Honestly? "Well, Sir. No. I'm not." She sat down with a sigh on her plush couch. Jack sat next to her.

"Talk to me." He said quietly.

Her eyes were stinging with the tears that she had been holding back. "Sir, seeing what you went through…" She stopped to gain her composure. "I was so afraid that we'd lost you. And then I hated myself for doubting you. I couldn't believe that I thought that those guys had actually made you crazy… that they'd broken you, I-"

"- Carter. Don't feel guilty about that." He took a deep breath. It was time for him to confess something that had been eating him alive since this whole ordeal had started. "The truth is, they did. Only for a minute. But it happened. There was a minute where I wanted to make up something. Anything. Admit that we were spies, even though I knew it wasn't true. Just to make it stop. But then I thought of you. And Daniel. And Teal'c. And I couldn't… " Much to Jack's horror he felt his own eyes stinging. "You guys really pulled me through. And I _hate_ that you had to see those damned projections. But what I hate even more is that I couldn't talk to you about them. I couldn't admit that they were having an effect on me and I couldn't even consider that they were affecting you. And I am sorry, Carter. I am so sorry." A drop of moisture made its way down his cheek. He ignored it as long as he could.

Carter's cheeks were streaked with tears by now.

"Come here." He said as he pulled her into a hug. She cried on his shoulder. Jack felt moisture streaming down his own face, but he hoped Carter wouldn't realize it. "I'm sorry." He said again.

"Sir," she said, pulling back. "It's not your fault."

Jack quickly attempted a subtle wiping of his cheeks and realized, much to his relief, that Carter was too busy wiping her own cheeks to realize. He ignored her words of comfort and diverted the conversation back to her.

"Carter, can I do anything to make this better?"

Sam looked up at him. "You just did, Sir."

Jack smiled. "And on that note… I thought maybe we could have a team night at my house. Pizza, beer… good ol' team bonding."

She smiled. "That sounds great. When?"

"Seven o'clock." Jack said as he stood.

As Carter walked him to the door, she stopped. "Sir?"

Jack turned toward her and raised his eyebrows expectantly.

"Would you like a cookie?"

Jack smiled.

Jack sat in the cab of his truck happily munching on an exceptionally good chocolate chip cookie. As he drove toward his home, he considered Carter. She really was his angel.

And he didn't mean some petite, pretty thing with fluffy wings and a trumpet. He meant strong, beautiful… awe-inspiring even. She was the one that could pick him up when he was down. He sighed. Now he was sounding cliché.

His entire team would pick him up, and he knew that. But they each served different roles. Jack thought more about it. If Carter was his guardian angel, then Daniel was his conscience, and Teal'c was his strength, his reassurance.

Jack smiled as he pulled into his driveway. Daniel was already there. _He's late for everything on earth or any other planet… except pizza night_. Jack slid out of the driver's seat and smiled at Teal'c and Daniel, who were peering out the window. That just left Carter to wait for. Waiting for his angel.

**TBC…**


	11. The First Day of the Rest of Our Lives

**Remains of the Day**

**Chapter 11: The First Day of the Rest of Our Lives**

SG-1 sat around the picnic table on Jack's deck enjoying the setting sun. They casually sipped their beers and enjoyed the large, greasy slices of pepperoni and green pepper pizza before them.

"If Janet saw us eating this, she'd have our asses." Sam said as she swallowed a particularly cheese bite.

Jack scoffed. "Yeah, Doc needs to loosen up a bit. I have to sneak Cassie candy sometimes!"

Carter gave him a scolding look. "You shouldn't undermine her authority, Cassie is still getting used to being on earth! She's only been here for two years! Sir." The "Sir" was added as an afterthought, a footnote, something that, sitting here on his deck, seemed considerably less important that it should to the Major.

Jack smiled. "You're just stickin' up for the doc cause she's your friend."

"Ah, Jack- Sam has a point, you really-"

"And _you_ Daniel, well, I don't think your need to defend our resident doctor even needs an explanation."

"Wha- What do you- I mean, what are you- what- what is _that_ supposed to mean, Jack?" Daniel's cheeks grew a steady shade of crimson.

Jack rolled his eyes. "Like you don't know."

"No, Jack, I don't. Janet and I are _friends_."

"Yeah, that's a good one, give the old _just friends_ speech."

"Jack, Janet and I _are_ just friends. I would do anything for her, as I would for you, Sam, or Teal'c. Hell, even General Hammond!"

Jack sighed. He looked at Sam, who was too busy trying to contain outright laughter to speak. So, he turned to Teal'c. "T, you wanna weigh in here?"

The Jaffa had an amused glimmer in his eyes, but there was something else. Mischief maybe? As soon as Jack realized that, he regretted asking Teal'c. What was he going to say? "DanielJackson speaks the truth O'Neill. I fully believe that he cares for DoctorFraiser in the same manner that you care for MajorCarter. And, as you are adamant that you are merely very good friends, you mustn't pass judgment on DanielJackson's-" he hesitated for a moment "-friendship- with DoctorFraiser. To do so would merely insinuate that you have 'underplayed' your friendship with MajorCarter."

The larger man looked quite pleased with himself. Daniel was now the one containing laughter. Sam and Jack were speechless, and slightly pale.

After a few seconds of awkward silence (save Daniel's sniggering) Jack took a long sip of his Guinness and looked at his watch. "The game's about to start." He expertly changed topics. Subtlety never was one of his strong-points when it came to his team.

Once the game ended, the team sat again comfortable on Jack's couch. "Hey, you guys wanna see something cool?" Jack said.

The team gave him a questioning look.

"Come on." He said as he stood. They followed him up the stairs of his home, all thoroughly confused. Even Daniel had only been upstairs once, and never for the tour. The upstairs was dedicated mostly to storage and… Charlie. Daniel's heart hitched. _What could he possibly want to show us up here?_

To Daniel's even greater surprise, Jack opened the door to Charlie's old room. His face crumpled in even greater confusion.

Jack stepped in first and the team followed him through. The room was not still made up as it had once been. Daniel was a little surprised. Grieving parents often kept their dead children's room set up exactly the same as it had been when they were alive. As if the parents are just waiting for their child to return one day. This room was not like that. There was a bed, with sheets clearly designed for little boys. A dresser with a baseball on it, but the rest of the room was boxes. The wall near the window was covered in a white sheet. _Odd_.

Jack took a deep breath. "This house was our getaway. Before I bought the cabin. When Sara and I- well, after the Abydos mission, I offered her a choice of the two houses. She chose the one in town and moved her father in with her and I took this one. Anyway, I didn't bring you up here to get all emotional about Charlie or anything… I think that we've all had enough _emotional_ for a lifetime. No, I wanted to show you this." Jack pulled the sheet away from the drywall to reveal a mural of the night sky. He smiled broadly. "Carter, you're the one with an eye for detail. Check it out." He gestured toward the wall and then out the window. Carter's eyes widened.

"Wow, Sir, it's almost perfect."

Jack continued smiling. "It took us a whole summer to paint. Charlie always liked the summer sky better than the winter one. Preferred the summer constellations. When he was five he asked me why the sky didn't stay the same all year. I explained that the world turns, and we see different stars. I'll never forget the look in his eyes at the idea of there being so much _out there_." Jack stopped speaking for a moment, lost in happy memories. "Anyway, we spent one whole summer just up on the roof, detailing everything we could with the telescope. We drew it out on paper, and then put it all together and hung it on the wall. A few months later, he asked if we could just paint it there. Sara thought we were crazy." He laughed a bit. "But Charlie, Charlie was as stubborn as me. So, we did it. It took us another whole summer. But we did it. Pretty good for an old Air Force Colonel and a seven year old, huh?"

Carter, Daniel, and even Teal'c smiled. "Yes, Sir."

Daniel understood something in that moment. Jack was being open. It wasn't the cry in your beer, spill your soul open that Daniel always thought he wanted to see in the Colonel. It was something else. It was Jack O'Neill's own, strange breed of open. Never-the-less, the man had just let Sam, Teal'c and him into a place that he had let few others. Literally and physically. Daniel couldn't stop smiling. It meant that they were closer now. The team. He could feel it. Some good had come out of this godforsaken mess of a month. SG-1 was ok. And they were going to continue to be ok. The warm, friendly, summer stars had banished the harsh, cold, winter ones. Daniel realized that it wasn't until that moment that he truly understood that SG-1 had made it through. They were home and intact. They had lost something, yes, but they had gained something far greater. And they were all ok.

"Daniel? You've got that _thinking_ look." Jack cut into his train of thought as they group made their way outside, to get a clear, unhindered view of the night sky.

"I was thinking, Jack."

Jack was almost afraid to ask, but something in his tone begged the question. Even Sam and Teal'c had turned to him questioningly.

"About…" Jack prompted.

He looked at Jack with a confident, content expression in his blue eyes. "We're ok. We made it through."

Jack gave him a bright smile, took a deep breath, rocked on his heels, and spoke. "Yes, we did, Daniel." As Jack shouldered by the archeologist to lead the way to the back yard, he said again, "Yes, we did."

**SG1SG1SG1SG1**

Six days later, SG-1 stood in the gate room ready to disembark on another "simple, routine" mission.

"SG-1, you have a go, godspeed. And _please_ try to stay out of trouble." Hammond spoke through the loud speaker.

"Don't worry, General. I know how much of a pain in the ass the paperwork can be. We'll spare you that." O'Neill called back with a smile. "And Sir, I promise, _first sign_ of trouble, we'll gate back. I'd say we've had our share of bad karma for the time being."

Sam smiled at him. He was Jack O'Neill again. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.

"You sure have, Colonel."

With that, the team headed up the ramp and vanished into the puddle of the event horizon. George Hammond sighed and turned to Walter Harriman. "You'll let me know the minute they check in?"

"Of course, Sir." Walter said with a smile. No matter how much the General may try to deny it, or downplay it, he really did have a soft spot where SG-1 was concerned. And he worried every time they headed off world. _Off course, with their record… so do I._

Walter shook his head and turned back to his console. He had a gate simulation to run.

**Fin. There is an epilogue coming, but it's short. I wanted to take this time to thank everyone who has taken the time to read and review and favorite this story. I'm glad that you enjoyed it! Also, I want to dedicate this fic to my own personal Carter/Daniel, SpellMasters (Kim Santora) who has helped me through more than she knows. **


	12. Epilogue

**Remains of the Day**

**Epilogue: You Can't Always Get What You Want**

Night had fallen over the lovely green fields of P8X… something or other. Jack took a deep breath, enjoying the untainted, clean air. The locals here were friendly. Carter had spent the whole day looking into possible trade relations for the big honkin' stash of naquadah these fine people had under their topsoil. As Jack walked, he saw a figure sitting on the grass, looking up at the stars.

He recognized the silhouette of his 2IC immediately and headed over toward her.

"Hey, Carter, whatcha doin'?" He sat down next to her. _God he loved sitting in the grass on a clear night._

"Sir." She greeted, "Just enjoying this." She gestured around her. "It's so peaceful."

"That it is, Major." He let out a contented sigh and set his P-90 down beside him. Then he lay on his back, giving him an unhindered view of the night sky.

Carter looked at him, a smile on her face.

He returned the gesture, amused curiosity in his eyes. "What are you lookin' at?"

"The strongest man I've ever met." She said without thinking. Her face went pale, and then turned a bright red that Jack could see even in the darkness.

His eyes shifted and lost some of the sparkle. "Carter," he sighed and paused.

Sam braced herself for a reprimand, and correction, hell, she could probably get sited for conduct unbecoming for making that kind of a statement to her CO.

Much to her surprise, Jack didn't reprimand her, instead, he said, "I'm only as strong as my team. And I have one hell of a team. One hell of a 2IC."

Carter looked beautiful in the starlight. He wanted nothing else then to kiss her. To hold her. To tell her that she was everything to him. But he couldn't. He knew that; she knew that. But, looking into her eyes at that moment, he realized something else. Something that until now he hadn't allowed himself to consider. _She understands what I want. She knows what I'm thinking. And more, she wants it, too. But, as Mic Jagger sings, "you can't always get what you want." _And, in that moment, Jack realized that he had all he needed. He broke the eye contact and looked up at the alien sky.

"Lotsa stars out tonight."

Carter joined him in lying on the grass. She was close enough to feel his presence, but far enough away to not break any regulations.

"Yes, Sir. Do you think they're summer or winter?" She asked with a small smile.

"With this much beauty? _Definitely_ summer." Jack said. Carter was too busy looking at the stars to realize that he was looking at her out of the corner of his eye. The stars were beautiful, but they were nothing compared to the woman next to him. The woman that he trusted with his life. The woman who had just got him through one of the absolute worst times of his existence. His angel. And angels lived in the stars, didn't they?

He directed his gaze back to the night sky and knew, suddenly, that Charlie was up there. Watching him. All of the bad memories were just remains. They were rotting, and sometimes putrid, but they would decompose completely one day. But the stars? The stars shined on forever. Even billions of years after they died, the stars shined for distant worlds. He decided then to focus on the stars. Leave the rotting remains for vultures and snakes. Jack O'Neill wasn't going to give them the time of day.

That night was the first night since this ordeal began that he slept without nightmares. _I think those remains have finally finished decomposing._ Jack thought with a smile the next morning. And, as he rose to get coffee started for Daniel and relieve Teal'c of his watch, Jack truly felt freed. It was over.

**FIN. (for real this time ****)**

**Please review and let me know what you thought! I know that this epilogue was a little sappy… but, hey. I may be a cynical college kid, but I have a romantic side, too :D**

**Hope you liked it!**


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